deseret book and the art of tantric sex

somedays it's just amazing that the things the world will drop in your lap for blogging--you might just liken it to "blogging mana from heaven", which is what fell from the sky today and i am still giggling about it. what can i say? i feel a little like vh1's "storytellers" hour this week--bear (or is it bare?? hmmmm, somebody let me know.) with me. or you've already skipped to the next blog, haven't you......
mindi and loni--1972


my older sister loni works a few days a week at deseret book--it's a perfect fit for her as she loves books and knows her "stuff", and she excels at customer service.

she generally doesn't answer her cell phone when at work, so i called the store phone and asked to speak to her.

she answers the phone saying, "this is loni," and i ask her this question, in my TOTALLY normal phone voice, which if you've spoken with me before know that i have a really deep, somewhat-disturbing-at-times-pleasing-at-other times "smoker's voice"--translation: not easy to disguise. anyway, i ask, "yes, hi--do you happen to carry the book "the art of tantric sex"?? --trying not to giggle--and she doesn't miss a beat and says, "if you'll hold just a second i can check on that for you."

i'm guffawing kinda quietly at how super funny and witty i am on the phone with a book store employee even though she knows exactly what my game is and who i am, but still thrilling at the thought of how genius it is of me to think of the employees of a deseret book even having to type the word "S-E-X" into their database and wait for about 50 seconds. i figure she was helping a customer and had to finish the purchase and ringing up, etc.

she gets back on and says, "we do not carry "the art of tantric sex", but i have found something comparable called "ecstasy in everyday living." to which i immediately say, "well, i ONLY want it if it has photos. are there illustrations?"

to which i hear her wait about 5 seconds and say......."is this my sister?"



i busted out laughing SOOOOOO hard because i was absolutely SURE that she knew who i was--i hadn't even tried to do any fooling at all, and she must have been just distracted enough to fall for my line of crap!! don't you just love it when you can get away with that--it made my whole day!!

she said that when she got the question and put me on hold she was thinking, "GREAT. AWESOME way to start my day here--and was immediately wondering why the H her supervisor had put a call like that through to her.......


hehehehehehe.

i won't post the super-secret location of loni's store as i know she would be thrilled to receive inquiries about ALL sorts of books.

but i can be convinced to sell it to you for a small fee. ;)

36 comments:

Holly H. said...

Oh I love stories like that! I think I'll be calling my local Deseret Book tomorrow...

Melissa said...

That sounds like something my sisters and I would do to each other...we think we are so funny! Great story!

LN said...

Too funny!!! Boy am I glad I don't work in retail somewhere where you (or one of my own siblings for that matter) could call & do the same to me. I'd totally fall for it!

Alice Wills Gold said...

Seriously, you are the funny blog queen..I am not (oops tried to type snot here on accident) even capable of thinking of something so funny.

I have a smokers voice too on the phone and if I have a cold, I really can be mistaken for a man.

Thanks for the share...this made me BUST up...a great way to start my morning.

R-Eight said...

Poor Loni. You're lucky she puts up with you.

Hannah said...

Haha! That is hilarious. I would totally fall for something like that too. I am known for being gullible.

Christie said...

that is hilarious! I have totally fallen for that too. I work as a city planner, and before I got married to my husband, I had a boyfriend who would call me at work and ask me totally off-the-wall questions like "is my property zoned such that I can put a wake boarding lake in my back yard" - and he'd get me every time.

Tanja said...

That's great...I can't believe she didn't know it was you at first!

Lesley said...

K that is classic! I love it. Reminds me of the time my teacher friend called another teacher and pretended to be a mad parent telling him that he talks too loud and that his room smelled like B.O. So great!

Jori said...

I bet the Vegas D.B. have all the sex books. You've got to know your audience right? I am SO jealous that you have a sister.

Tiburon said...

Since I know where Loni lives - I bet I can figure out which store...

May have to reach out and touch someone - which is more than I can say for YOU young lady.

Call me :)

Holly O. said...

I'll be calling soon too. HOW FUNNY!!

Loni-the OTHER sister said...

I was just relieved that it was just Mindi and I didn't have to deal with some psycho-nymphomani...ummm...
actually, now that I think about it...

Mindi said...

i was just WAITING for you to break your silence and go for your once quarterly comment, loni--

you know EXACTLY who you are dealing with, my dear--you always have!! poor thing!

i wuv you.

Me and The Boys said...

oh..that's hillarious! How fun to have sisters! I may check into that "other book" she mentioned!

tammy said...

That is hil-ar-i-ous! What good is family if you can't pull crap on them? I love it!

Tiffany said...

Oh my holy goodness! This is classic!

Have I ever told you that I worked at DB for about five years? And I worked with a lady named Loni? Who is very nice, classy, and tan? Could it be the same Loni?

We worked together at the Fort Union store.

Trina said...

Classic. I love it.

Jod Jas Curtis said...

Love the joke- you go GIRL! You do need to get 101 Nights of Great Romance :) Sorry, it's not your ecstasy book - but fun altogether.
luvs
jodi

hoLLy said...

LOL! thanks for a good laugh today. i love pranks. i'm a total pranksta myself:)

simply kris said...

you and I could so hang. i love, love, love being naughty! and besting someone at the same time??!?!?! my little heart is giggling at the thought.

Angie said...

So funny!! what a great prank and you didn't even disguise you voice! my sista and i love to do stupid bs like that!

Megal said...

Loni, Loni, Loni. The fact that she fell for this makes me wonder what kind of calls they are receiving at Deseret Book?? Interesting.

devri said...

I love this post, you should get an award for that prank!!! ps. two entries for you, you need to shout then you get three :}

Michael said...

You do realize that as funny as it is...you will still burn in hell for it, right?

Shanz said...

Loni & Lana. I love those two! They just don't make 'em
like that anymore!

Kami said...

Your poor sister. ;) You are funny!

Okay, Mia looks just like your baby picture...so cute!

Kristi said...

Holy crap, I love love love you for doing this, and pulling it off! I aspire to be like you one day :)

palmtree8 said...

Glad those good ole mormon girls our there in the "U" state have a sense of humor.

Omgirl said...

I can never pull off stuff like that. I just can't keep from laughing! I have a terrible poker face with practical jokes.

Cole said...

I want a sister!!!

Jana said...

Thanks for always leaving comments on my blog! You are awesome, and I am constantly impressed at the sheer volume at which you are able to crank out funny original material for your blog!
keep it coming!

{Annie N.} said...

Lol! You two crack me up. So does that other sister of yours.
BTW thanks for always borrowing my your cute serving items. I just might not give the punch bowl back.:)

Ida said...

That is too funny. In the ER when I was the unit clerk I would get the most off the wall calls. If I have hemmorhoids what can I do? I had sex with a hoe last night (his words not mine) can I get a disease? I think I have something stuck somewhere but I am too embarrassed to come in. Yeah I get it all too bad those calls weren't prank calls.

No Cool Story said...

"...but i have found something comparable" Ah, she's GOOD!!

HAHAHAHA!

MiaKatia said...

Oh man that cracked me up! I am so impressed that you pulled it off. I would have totally fallen for it too!