jacks and the foam finger

do you know the part in the movie dumb & dumber where lloyd christmas walks into the convenience store and is gonna get "just the essentials"? and then he walks out with the foam, over sized cowboy hat, the paddle-ball, and the pinwheels? well, i've experienced my own version of "lloyd christmas", and i lived to tell the tale.

this is jackson--he is my bestie/blesbian amy's boy, and he is quicker than lightning when it comes to purchasing CRAP: so here's how it all went down: when we came back from park city about a month ago, amy asked us if we had room for jackson to ride down to st. george--we did, and so she came to drop him off to us at trolley square.

she warned my man, "now, russ---watch this little guy. he has 20 dollars that is burning a hole in his pocket. have you seen that scene in dumb and dumber? "just the essentials"? yeah, this is my own little lloyd christmas!"

i told amy not to fear, that i would keep an eye on jackson, and no frivolous spending would get past me. not on MY watch. we left and cruised down to orem, where we stopped at super target.

jackson, abbey, and katie ran in with me. i grabbed a few things, the kids went to look at toys, and then i met them at the front for check out. jackson and abbey had already gone out to the car, and i didn't think anything about it until i heard him from the backseat of the car, calling out, "pop tarts for sale: 2 dollars!!!" i looked back, and he's got a box, just purchased from tar-jay, along with misc. candy. i think, "well, he slipped by me this time, but it won't happen again."

au contraire......


we hit beaver, and he needs to go to the bathroom. he bolts out of the car as i'm yelling, "don't buy anything, jacks--i'll get us all something after we're done!" and the next i see him is when i come out of the bathroom and he's bought the biggest package of jolly ranchers known to man and a gallon of sobee. they were both SERIOUSLY the industrial size and, yup, he's already purchased them. while i was in the bathroom. hmmmmmmmmm.

the next stop is in summit, and before we even open the car doors, i look back at all the children and say, "nobody, AND THAT MEANS YOU, JACKSON--is to purchase ANYTHING in here...you got me? NOTHING!!" and then he bolted away to the boy's bathroom. the next thing i know, we are back in the car and the girls are giggling in the back. i turn around, and jackson opens his mouth and he's got a GLOWING, LIGHT UP "GRILL" on his teeth!! for real?? how does this kid do it? he sneaks past me, grabs his impulse purchase, pays the cashier and is back in the car before i am....

sure enough, by the time we hit st. george at 11pm to drop him off at his aunt brandy's, jackson has managed to spend a nice little chunk of the $20.00 his mother gave him.

i think the boy has a gift.
a special, special gift.

17 comments:

jennie w. said...

I have son with that same special superpower. I can't walk out the door without him running up to me, "where are you going? Can I cone too? i have five dollars." Annoying!

devri said...

Mother like son right?

tammy said...

Hopefully as he grows up, he'll refine his talent and become the shopper that his mother hopes he can be.

R-Eight said...

Ha Ha! This is such a great story!

Misty said...

Holly's son, Hayden, is just like this. Wyatt has hundreds of $s saved up and Hayden never has a penny to his name. He even made a bet the other day for .80 cents & when we asked why .80 cents, he said because that was about the amount of change he could usually scrounge out of his mom's purse. CLASSIC!

Holly H. said...

Amy told me about this a while back and we laughed... hard. I'm pretty sure my youngest son, Hayden has the same gift. He'd just buy bubble gum snow cones with every cent he has if I'd let him.

Holly H. said...

Ok, I just read Misty's comment...after I wrote mine. FUNNY! And oh so true!

Angie said...

Yes, and that gift comes directly from Mrs. Christmas herself! Momma!! Oh yes! Mamma! I'm sure Jack's has heard Caylor tell Amy the same thing! This got a fantastic laugh out of me this morning because Amy had already told me about it! love it! I wish you had a picture of the grill!

Tanja said...

That is so-o funny!
Love how he beat you back to the car every time.

gina bina said...

What a cute story! I'm pretty practical most of the time...but everyone once in a while the "lloyd christmas" in me sneaks up.

Mother Goose said...

OHHH my, I think it is funny but then again, it wasn't on my watch! LOL, anyway that boy has some serious skillz and I will be sure to keep him away from my girl. BEcasue I have a girl who has some great talent when it comes to spending anything in her pocket and she tends to gravitate towards junk, too. She did tell me she wouldn't have to buy junk if I would up her allowance. HELLO! save your allowance and buy quality. ..... yeah, exactly, she accumulates junk.

Ammie said...

Mindi you tell a good story! What a funny guy. I think my husband has a little bit of "Lloyd Christmas" in him too

Collette said...

I had Jackson babysit for me once and I gave him $20 and I could tell he was already spending it in his mind! He is a doll and a mighty fine babysitter!

Tiburon said...

He has a dark gift. Note to self: Do not let Jackson hang out with Ethan ;)

Amy said...

You forgotto mention that the reason youstopped inthe first place was because Jackson offered the helpfeul, " Hey, Russ, They have really clean bathrooms at that gas station" Really clean bathrooms... He saw you coming... Amateurs... you are amateurs! Since when has Jacks cared about anything clean... he knew they had great junk at that gas station! Collette went to a school carnival with him and laughed her butt off at his blowing through 40.00 in mere seconds. He is a crazy... and for all you... I have no idea where this comes from! I am sure his dad!

MiaKatia said...

Oh Amy I am sure you are right that this super fantastic shopping skill comes from the hubby not you!

Ida said...

haha that is one smart boy he is.