from the moment i started blogging, i was instantly in love.
how was it that i had existed for almost 38 years and never known about the love, validation, creative outlet, and the rad peeps that came with blogsphere membership? it was unthinkable.
every time i would log onto blogger and see a comment, it was like an addict scoring some sweet product at rock bottom prices--i couldn't get enough.
there were more than one "strenuous disagreement " between me and the rbc during the first months about the hours and hours spent blogging. i could easily lose track of 2 or 3 hours while jumping from blog to blog, and i loved the concept of being able to make a new friend as simply as clicking on the 'comment' button and saying hello.
make friends i did, and the number of blogs i commented on jumped from a few to a bunch to a SHIZLOAD within a matter of months. it was common blogger courtesy when, seeing a new person comment on your blog, you jump to theirs and leave a little love for them. i liked the challenge of leaving a great comment and found lots of cool things that a wide variety of bloggers posted.
i discovered google reader and was thrilled to have an application that showed me when my favorite bloggers posted, and allowed me to keep track of them. but it was also when my number of blogs that i checked on exploded. to an obscene number.
one day, about 2 months ago, i realized that i was just plain burned out. major. i realized that i had an extreme phobia about commenting on each and every one of my blogs that i read. blogging is reciprocal--you scratch my back, i scratch yours. i was panicked if i missed a post, and i would spend hours and hours trying to catch up on google reader and give everybody the love and attention i wanted to show them. that 'people-pleaser' in me was working over-time and i just couldn't keep up. this is when the BLOGLIGATION kicked in. it wasn't fun anymore, it felt like a chore. something i HAD to do.
i finally decided to take a leap of faith and some advice from one of my blogging heroes, tiffany, and went almost completely commenting COLD TURKEY. i stopped commenting on 99% of my blogs.
guess what i found out? the world kept revolving.
some of my biggest fears came true: the comments on my blog went way down. some people felt hurt and abandoned. some wondered if i had been hacked up and stuffed in the drywall, but were then insulted that i was still posting daily, so i obviously wasn't dead. and i worried.
but i woke up one day and realized that i was free from my overwhelming need to be everywhere at once. and it felt good.
so, there it is.
i want you to know that i am still reading my obscene number of blogs. it's just that now it might be every 2 or 3 days that i log onto google reader instead of daily. i hope to come off the comment hiatus soon, but feel content knowing that i don't have to keep up anymore.
don't break up with me as i love and adore you all.
i still want us to stay together--even if it's just for the kids.
& even if you don't comment on this post. (!)
40 comments:
I will probably get to this point at some point, especially if my job ever changes.
But don't feel guilty. You have to do what you have to do.
I love that you're being honest...and doing what is best for YOU! That's why I like you. :)
i think the balance you are finding is healthy.
i don't comment on many posts i read-
and i recently stopped following most because they were in my google reader anyahow and showing up all over the place reminding me to read-it was making me crazy.
You're so lucky it only took you a year to figure this out...
Hey babe! I couldn't agree more with what you are saying! I realized early on that I sucked at keeping up on everyone's blogs and that I had inadvertently hurt some people's feelings. That might be why I never went "hardcore" so to speak! I love reading everyone's blogs WHEN I CAN. Sometimes I comment, but more often not and it's all good! Carry on! ;)
I started my blog for personal reasons and have tried to keep it that way.
It can seriously get ridiculous trying to keep up.
I try to let others know that I am reading, not always commenting. But don't always do.
loves my dear!
I'm giving you the slow clap, Mindi. And I'm standing, too. And there's a single tear rolling down the middle of my cheek, like Demi Moore in Ghost.
I so throw myself under the anxiety bus when it comes to hurting other people's feelings. I totally know how you feel. That being said, us feeling stressed and guilty doesn't make the people feel better. I would def. choose your sanity and family over the stranger-friends. They will understand. Or they should.
I'm in the panic part of the relationship right now with my blog followers. I need to find my happy place.
I am sooooooo with you. I have had to cut back and I am still feeling the blogligation. I just try to make the rounds and make up on the weekend.
I know you are not the only ones doing this - but I don't want my kids to remember mommy on the computer all the time - I want them to remember mommy dressing Barbie up in wicked cool ensembles.
What? You're not dead in the drywall? I paid good money for that... just kidding! Great post! I am there with you and I didn't have the vast numbers you did.... Life is good... I broke it to my man... I am coming down for sure... Wednesday-Saturday! PARTY!
Don't worry about it. I enjoy reading your blog because it's funny as crap! Maybe you should stop being so funny.
I refuse to pay any attention to "blogging rules". This is supposed to be fun, right?
Well, I've only commented on worthy blogs from the beginning. Consequently I only have a few readers, and even fewer commenters. But I'm happy with my situation. That's what happens when you aren't much of a people pleaser.
I only comment on lame blogs if I know the person IRL and they'll be really sad to my face if I don't say anything.
Mindi, I love your blog. I would never leave you. I don't care if you don't leave comments or even if you don't come to my blog. You give me at the end of the day a laugh, or a smile, and that is why I come over to see you.
You do what you have to, and don't worry about the rest.
Seriously, people need to get over themselves. Just because you don't comment on everyone else's blogs doesn't mean you still don't care. It's not a popularity contest.
I confess, I read your blog all the time, but I don't comment on every post.
I think you're great. Especially because I got the leg lamp night light from you and me and Melissa have been having a grand time with it.
blogging can be way too time consuming. i'm not as "popular" :) as you and people like tib, but my google reader gets pretty dang wicked too. i don't comment on every post, never have, i try to throw one out there every now and then though. i really don't care how many people comment on my blog because i understand its hard to comment all the time. so, you do what you gotta do. we are wifees and mommies above all else! that takes precedence and when the computer gets too much of our time, then something is wrong. even though it is way fun:)
I hope you don't mind if I link this post to my blog. I've been feeling this way too for awhile, but you articulated it so much better than I could. So I'm stealing your post. Hope you're cool with that.
It IS crazy how this medium has started filling different needs for different people. and there is no. way. for you to please them all, so Kudos for you for taking back control of YOUR blogging/commenting/etc.
and you know i <3 you no matter what...
awwww...don't we all feel better now?! I say, good for you. Thanks for putting this out there. I wuv da Mind!
I still ♥ you!
Mindi~I love you whether you comment on my blog or not, and that goes for a whole bunch out there in bloggy land.
I read your blogs because you make me laugh and feel good...
Blogging is supposed to be fun and fun fulfilling, if it's not, something is wrong!!
This is my first time commenting on your blog, and I just have to say that your blog seriously makes my day! It brings a smile to my face and my office gets startled by my hysterical laughing whenever I read your posts. I'm glad you were able to find a middle ground with commenting - heaven knows I don't want you to get burnt out! :)
I did the same thing because it's no fun when blogging seems like work.
I'm still here and I still read your blog. But to be perfectly honest, I can't keep up with all your posts either! So no offense taken, and hope we can stay together. ;)
Nothing but respect and love for your decisions! I think we all get to that point where we have to decide what rolls our blogs and blogging in general are going to be in our life. I cut way back on the commenting too, and I don't feel bad (anymore).
The funny thing about this is that I dont comprehend the "scratch my back" theory.
I have been commenting for over 2 years on peoples blogs and it's just for fun. I would say that most of the blogs I comment on probably dont ever even visit my lame blog, much less read or comment.
I guess I had so much rejection as a child that I have learned to live without validation (even though it's so totally obvious I'm screaming for it anyways. am I right??) uuuuh.... oh well)
I take this time to enjoy my addictions while I can before fetus #3 arrives and I wont have time to breathe.
I have done the same with my commenting and I think it's good... Is it bad for me to say that I have learned to take it all in "moderation"?! :)
Well said! I still love your guts!
Mindi, I Feel you woman. I have felt the same way at one point. But I still have nothing but love for you. I think your blog is fab no matter what. Just keep on keepin on. :)
I have a disease. A problem. A condition, you might call it. I feel like I HAVE to comment on every blog I read. Not out of obligation, but because I have something to say about everything! But I have finally realized, like you, that I can't comment on EVERY person's blog I read. So I've come to a sort of compromise: I comment on all or almost all of the people's posts who I know and love to read or who don't know me from Adam, but who I read for sheer enjoyment. And I comment occasionally on people's blogs who I have some sort of blogging relationship with or that I know personally but who I don't find interesting (just because I know you have to do that a little if you want to get comments back, which I do). And I only comment once or twice on new people's blogs who come to my blog. Because I'd rather have them come back because they like to read me than because we follow an "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" philosphy. I'm not down with that phlosophy. If you love me, read me and comment. If you don't, that's cool. I can take it. But I'm not going to read you and comment if you have a boring blog. There's no time for that. Sorry!
I hear you....I've been there myself...and go there every now and then. I miss it though when I can't make it to everyone's blog. I just know the day I miss is the day when they'll do their BEST work. But often I can't make it to see everyone. And you're forgiven when you don't comment...at least by me. I'll still come by to get my giggle on.
I'm still here. Just not witty sometimes. I heart you.
It is just too hard to do it all...and you my dear are funny as Hell and something special. heck, you don;t hafta comment on my blog...I would still like ya!
it's all good that's why they invented BWO (blogging without obligation) and no worries on the no commenting thing. I've got some people who only comment on mine when I comment on theirs. but maybe that's just how they keep track of people? OR maybe i'm naive, but whatever i'm happy in my ignorance.
I am so with you--the pressure to reciprocate and all. It hit me early on, and I'm still trying to find the right balance for me. Honestly, I think it's a little funny (in a sad way) if someone is offended that you don't comment as often. Aren't we all kind of in the same I-love-and-hate-my-blogging-habit? Just sayin.
cue the meaningful music, it's the end of the "very special" episode and i for one am glad that you learned something. great post. my sentiments exactly. roll credits.
Yeah I feel ya, I mean I'm not anywhere near your level of blogerness popularity, but yeah. I didn't have my computer for 2 months and it made the whole blog thing no fun for me, but I still survived. And I'm still readin' your's!
yeah....before you know it, hours can slip by!
II-eeeee-IIIIIII-eeeeeee-IIIIII will always love YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Doesn't it feel good to be free! Here's the deal...if people don't comment on your blog because you didn't comment on their post then they aren't the people I would dig much anyway right....chill folks...when I have something to say you can be sure I will say it :)
Great post!
p.s. you know i'm totally expecting a little comment love back on this one right...Baah-ha-ha!
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