thankful thursday

things i am thankful for this week:

for the fact that we don't, indeed, have the swine flu as kaitlyn might have self-diagnosed abbey with.

{this is awesomely titled, "aPORKalypse now."}






that my nephew kayson took katie to the prom with him when his date's appendix decided to burst. (read loni's funnyfunny account of the story)

to quote my favorite principal, ed rooney: "so THAT'S how it is in their family........"



but NOT thankful for the fact that she looks WAY. TOO. OLD.

{cousin kiersta & katie}

for the moment we all had a laugh the other day when we happened upon a old blue vw bus and chandi said, "oh, look! it's the dharma initiative!"

for my sister loni who took all four of the girls over night so russ and i could go to the jazz game--love you sis!

and for the fact that, no matter how long it's been around, the 'wide mouth frog' skit is ALWAYS A CROWD PLEASER:

married to the sea

these guys just crack me up every time:

pretty pretty princessess

mia had her first birthday party and it was declared a TOTAL SUCCESS. (if you are a four year old and have extremely low expectations.)

with in keeping with the 'PRINCESS' theme, bestie jody put hairs on top of heads for ultimate crown-wearing effect:

(we were also trying to channel that fanfreakingtabulous up-do that barbie was sporting.)

aunt megan came through with the bestest cake in the world, yet AGAIN:

and they all lived happily ever after!

SUCK IT!

after a small squabble the other night, i made a mental note to post about this:

the rbc & i don't fight about many things. but one thing that ALWAYS causes marital discord is THE VACUUM.

without fail, every couple of months i'll notice that the vacuum is just making marks in the floor and not picking up a single thing.

i'll stop, call him immediately and say, "the vacuum is broken. i need you to fix it tonight."

to which he'll always reply, "WHY DID YOU BREAK IT?! I JUST FIXED IT A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO!! WHAT DID YOU VACUUM OVER? DAMMIT!"

so then, that night as he takes it apart, he makes a pile of the hair/threads/debris that he collects from the innards and calls me in to survey the damages.

"LOOK AT THIS." he says. "THIS IS DISGUSTING! CAN YOU SEE ALL THE HAIR AND JUNK THAT YOU'VE VACUUMED UP? NO WONDER IT'S NOT WORKING! YOU NEED TO WATCH WHAT YOU ARE SUCKING UP!"

but then i always say, "oh. you mean the hair/debris/threads that are THE REASON WHY I AM VACUUMING? THOSE hairs/debris-esss/threds-esss? the very reason we bought a freaking eight pound orek xl for in the FIRST PLACE? yeah.....i know them. really well."

i think he would be happier if i took a fine-tooth comb and started through the carpet on hands and knees, raking it out first, flushing out any potential vacuum-pitfalls like excessive food spillage &/OR barbie shoes AS WELL as the threads/debris/hairs. like from the five women in his house. four of which his chromosomes determined the sex.

so i've made up my mind--from this day forward, i vow to have our vacuum resemble THIS:

and you thought scrabble was for nerds..

my sister loni considers herself the grand master champion on high of scrabble in our family.

so i was intrigued when i saw the new ads that make scrabble seem almost hip--

(a rockin' song will do that to you.)

{the song is hula dancer by c4}

rrrriiicccck!

DO'S & DON'TS of a rick springfield concert:

DO be pleasantly surprised that the rickster still looks pretty freakin' good. mindi was prepared for the brett-michaels-bandanna-weave-botox combo but am happy to report that rick still rocked it in the looks department~




DO go with your besties on a beautiful april night at tuacahn



DO wear your 'adult orthodontia' to show solidarity for your younger self who rocked it to rick while playing 'ms pac man' at the arcade. while your friend wore your retainer.

DON'T be shocked that there were a lot of ladies on the down-side of 40 with bad perms and 6 inches of root who wanted to shake it AND break it SOLEY for the benefit of the rickster.

DO be totally amused by them and get distracted from the actual concert. LOTS.

DON''T come to a concert if you have to put your fingers in your ears...

or stuff them with toilet paper.

if it's TOO LOUD, then you are TOO OLD!

DO grab mr. springfield's leg as he walked up through the crowd.
DON'T wash that hand. EVER. again.

DO yell "RRRRRRRRRIIICK! RRRRRRRRRIICK!"

hb mia!

my baby is FOUR YEARS OLD today.


mia, you are a gift to us! happy birthday little one~

oink oink~!

just in case you thought you had the swine flu--a little tip from me to you on how to avoid it:

you can also order your swine shirt right HERE--use coupon code "PANDEMIC" to save $2.00 on every order!!

JAZZercize!

LESSONS LEARNED AT THE JAZZ GAME:

it's not what you know but WHO you know. and who THEY KNOW. poor white trash like us would never get to do anything without somebody taking pity on us. but we will go ahead and capitalize on their sympathies purely for material gain.

to quote my b.i.l. cody: "money can't buy happiness. but it CAN buy you a large yacht and you can sail right up to it."

it can also buy 5th row tix to the jazz which can then be transferred to the needy. (translation: US!)

sitting on the 5th row is MUCH different than sitting in the nosebleeds. it enables you to see kobe bryant's shiny head up close & personal. i might have even caught a wiff of his axe cologne.




going with your besties makes it even a bit more enjoyable:

sitting 2 rows behind andrei kirilenko's wife masha lopatova makes the game a little more interesteing as we pondered her OFFER

wearing white knee-socks is always a fashion DON'T. even if you are a nba basketball star. you still look like urkel.

angel moroni +

deron williams =

ANGEL DERONI

(THE BEST FAN SIGN WE SAW ALL NIGHT!)

--thanks, tiburon for the wicked photo shop skillz

confession booth: CUATRO

so.....love it or hate it, it's time for the quarterly confession booth--hands down, the confession booth has been my most-requested posting.

it was all sorts of craziness when i opened the first booth back in june. even more mayhem ensued when the second booth went down in october, and don't even get me STARTED on booth number three !

many people have strong opinions about the confession booth--that's what makes it interesting. if you love a little scandal and some not-so-light reading, you will be back again & again.if you frown on it and pass judgement, please come back this friday. let's still be friends~

so.....without further ado.........

today i am turning off my statcounter and opening up confession booth QUATRO. feel free to air your dirty laundry, the skeletons in yours or your neighbor's closets, your pet peeves, whatever. you can do it as "anonymous", or make up a name, whatever floats your boat.

but here's how it's going down:

1. i'm using comment moderation. try to not get your freak on too much-- if it's too insane for even a jaded chick like me, it won't make the cut. but give it your best shot! I VALIDATE YOU.

2. i would like to stress that i am NOT your bishop/priest/parole officer/last rights, so if you murdered someone and/or hacked them up and stuffed them in the drywall?? go to another blog. please. NOW.

don't make me cry.

3. feel free to confess without me knowing who you are or where you're from--everything will be turned off until the booth is closed.

4. i reserve the right to post or not post your confession. please try to refrain from standing on soapboxes and criticizing other confessions and/or confessors--let's all just play nice and get along.

and to quote tori, the genius creator of confession booth, "if you are a psycho who wears scary masks, please don't tell me. thanks."

we will be taking confession until midnight, thursday the 30th.

driving miss daisy

trashy reality tv show alert: i am somewhat ashamed to admit that i TOTALLY dvr'd daisy of love last night.

and could possibly be TOTALLY INVESTED.

allegedly.

this show basically represents everything that is wrong with america.

i am so going to hell.

GANG SIGNS

being somewhat unnaturally interested in fake gang 'signs', i found THIS article on gawker quite interesting:

"These are a series of Time Life photos detailing the collection of hand signals that Sherman Billingsley, the owner of Old Manhattan institution The Stork Club, used to communicate silently with his staff.

As owner of the storied supper-club haunt of characters on Mad Men, and of people from the real-life 1950's, Billingsley employed his elaborate system to make it seem as if things at the Stork just happened like magic, be they good—champagne! perfume!—or bad—get out and never come back!

In the photos, Billingsley demonstrates each move, along with his regular drink, a Coke."


now, if i was a betting woman, i would say the safe money is on the fact that coke sponsored this article......

A tug on the pocket square meant that he liked a table and wanted his assistant to "Get them a bottle of perfume." Could be a cheap bottle for $7.50, or Chanel for $150. LIFE © Time Inc.

If he pointed his finger down, he liked a table and wanted his assistant to "Bring a round of drinks," but I guess he didn't like them enough for the champagne. LIFE © Time Inc.

A hand out on the table also meant that he liked the customers, and wanted his assistant to "Bring a bottle of champagne." LIFE © Time Inc.

When Billingsley fiddled with his tie, it meant "No check for this table." Congrats. You win. Free dinner. LIFE © Time Inc.

A hand on the nose meant "Not important people" or "Their check is no good." You didn't want a hand on the nose. LIFE © Time Inc.

You definitely didn't want this thumbs up signal, which told his assistants to "Get them out & don't let them in again." LIFE © Time Inc.

i think that i should be developing my own intricate, detailed system of hand-signals for the important times in my life when i need to silently communicate:

'VISITING TEACHERS HAVE BEEN HERE TOO LONG'

'THAT IS THE FAST LANE, IDIOT. IT'S FOR CARS GOING FAST.'

'CONTRARY TO YOUR OPINION, THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU.'

'BECAUSE I SAID SO, THAT'S WHY'

'WHERE IS THE DIET DR PEPPER?'

'QUIT HITTING YOUR SISTER!'

'THESE PANTS MUST HAVE SHRUNK IN THE DRYER'

'NO, YOU CANNOT HAVE A PUPPY.'

'WHO ARE THESE CHILDREN AND WHY ARE THEY CALLING ME "MOM"?'