my imaginary friends.

i've always felt like i "know" people on reality tv.

i like to talk about them as if they have been on my speed dial for years--i also like to dissect their problems, tackle their issues, & offer advice on their love life.

i know it's pathetic and somewhat disturbing. but i can't seem to help myself from becoming (as russ so aptly puts it) "an integral and vital part of their lives."

can you see his sarcasm dripping off of those letters? i hope so.

what i wish i COULD do, however, is to stop my celebrity pseudo-bff's imaginary (or non) situations/story lines/competition placements from affecting me or my mood. swings.



pathetic example 1: mindi agonizes over which sytycd dancer she should pledge her allegiance and un-dying devotion to. she is torn between brandon, jeanine, kayla, & janette. she decides to stick with her original first love, brandon, but then nearly comes unglued when he lands in the bottom two (all because of evan and the freaking eyelid sympathy vote! THERE. i said it!). she's relieved when he ends up staying, but is bent out of shape by jeanette being voted off. she thinks melissa should have gone home (sorry kami) but knows she's staying on because she tackled the breast-cancer issue. she then talks for an excruciatingly long amount of time about how janette would still be here if she had performed the b.c. dance. and had a better gum/teeth combo.



pathetic example 2: mindi has talked for weeks about how daisy should pick flex on daisy of love--he's (fairly) stable, good looking, and doesn't look like an unemployed d-bag with a closet full of affliction tank tops. she DOESN'T want daisy to pick london, who is an unemployed d-bag with a closet full of women's skinny jeans. daisy (of course) picks london, and the rest of mindi's night is filled with emotional eating & angry emails to vh1.


i am a smart enough woman to know that the only fact i should REALLY get my panties in a bunch over is the fact that i should be embarrassed to admit that i watch a show such as this.
and to solemly swear not to insert myself into said trashy reality-tv show dynamics, EVER AGAIN.


wait for it........



wait.

for.

it.



yeah, no. don't hold your breath.