lessons i learned from scrapbookin/"scrap'n" hell

that is seriously how i feel right now--like i should have a speech prepared with a list of people to thank for helping me get this major award. actually, in utah, this might be better than accepting an oscar. after all, i have heard rumors of other mothers who did not have their children's scrapbook up to date just mysteriously disappearing in the middle of the night without a trace....and nobody mentions their names again.

184 pages. ONEHUNDREDANDEIGHTYFOUR FREAKIN' PAGES!!!!! if i never see another piece of cardstock again it will be too damn soon. (profanity only allowed on this blog in reference to scrapbooking. or "scrap'n" as those in the know would call it.) i can't even THINK of posting one of my pages for review here, though. i don't want to be shunned by everyone and called bad names and have people not let their kids play with mine.

problem is, these are only two of my children's books. i have two more to do. it still sucks to be me right now......

but, for a moment, i am gonna chillax and not be within a fifty-foot radius of a paper cutter.

lessons i have learned from scrapbooking purgatory:

1. use all your old stuff that you already have before even stepping foot in pebbles or other various scrapbook stores. once you do that, the game is over, my friend. you will throw out everything you have and buy all new and improved supplies. i had to physically restrain myself from "re-doing" some of the pages i had just done for abbey. like 6 days before. i have a theory that it's totally a conspiracy concocted by the paper powers-that-be. fight the power!

2. take whatever dollar amount you think you are working with and times it by 10. then double that amount, and add an extra 50 bucks and you should be in the ballpark.

3. make your husband think that what you are doing is a very large sacrifice on your part, and that your selfless toiling for hours on end is all just for the greater good of the family. show me that, and i'll show you a husband who lets you skip out on dinner dishes several nights in a row and is okay with the extra two hundred dollars you spent at target on "stupid, useless chick-stuff"-- my man is THE MAN!

4. get on board with the fact that any page you do is going to be vastly inferior to pages that any other person living on the planet will do. i set my bar very, very, exceedingly-stupid low and so i was always happy with sub-par results.

5. recruit fast, efficient worker-bee sister, stampin-up sister, and scrapbook-gifted friend to help. mad props to megan, loni, and kristin--you girls are really ALL THAT and a bag of chips.

6. work faster, harder, stronger! no, really--i think the fact that i didn't spend 10 minutes envisioning the layout, trying to match colors on the paper to colors in clothing, etc., was only a total bonus to me and my time. i also am a big fan of cramming a whole lotta photos on some pages--that's really all my kids wanted to see, was their pictures. they really don't care how they got there. that's gratitude for yo.  but typical, though. not one of my children have ever even thanked me for birthing them so they sure as hell aren't going to start thanking me for this.

7. make 1 page, duplicate it for your other children. why reinvent the wheel? this is when megan stepped in saved my life--she must have copied 40 pages for me. i heart her.


in the scheme of things, thought, i'm not sure why i really did this. murphy's law says that now that i am caught up on these two, our house is gonna catch fire and burn to the ground, scrapbooks and all. but, both abbey and chandi were thrilled, so i guess it all is worth it in the end. the things we do for our children!