what lurks beneath

i've decided that my children, despite my best attempts at teaching them better, are all little piglets.

i have carried this knowledge down deep in my heart, secretly willing it to NOT be true. but the ugly reality was confirmed the other morning when i decided to take our big red sectional couch apart. what i found was deeply disturbing, heinous, nauseating, and managed to chill me to my very core.

apparently, my children have a silent, unwritten code that is STRICTLY adhered to and fastidiously obeyed: if it needs to be thrown away, put in a drawer, folded/wiped/organized/mended/and/or tossed out, then it GOES IN BETWEEN THE CUSHIONS.

grody food? PUT IT UNDER THE CUSHIONS. old magazines you don't want anymore? PUT THEM UNDER THE CUSHIONS. starburst wrappers, trix, paper clips, pencils, hair accessories, broken jewelry, chewed gum, scratched cd's?? yup. UNDER THE FREAKIN' CUSHIONS.

after 90 minutes of tugging, pulling, lifting, swearing, sweating, lugging, and MORE cursing, i had a trash bag full of crap.

some of the items found under the couch included but are not limited to:

a barbie head
school library book
laser pointer
marker lids (but no markers....hmmm....)
every candy wrapper known to man
silly putty
hooker-red lipstick
flip flop
70 bazillion bobby pins and hair elastics (KAITLYN: YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)
pair of barbie panties (don't worry. they were mine.)
monopoly money
un-eaten crusts from a pb & j sandwich (ABBEY: YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)
tin foil
roll of stamps

towards the end of the project, i was absolutely certain that i was going to need some post-traumatic-shock-syndrome therapy.

did you enter?


(cuz it ends tonight at midnight. just thought you should know.)

dirty birdies

jared came over to our house. how do we know this?

because our birds were doing THIS:

(we can always count on him to arrange our home decor into compromising positions.)

hb stevekemp!

zwani.com myspace graphic comments

hb to a guy who's STILL got it goin' on.

and who likes kitties.

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

desperately seeking sponsor:

how much do i need this sweet trust fund pouch???

and somebody to fill it for me. thank you.

{courtesy of the most awesomest stuff ever}

test your awareness

you've probably seen this before.......but my kids love it. so on the blog it goes. AND it's a little reminder for my jdrf biker girl! :

happy weekend to all! i'll be back on tuesday....

thankful thursday

things i am thankful for this week:

**a friend who inspires me to push myself a little harder and set loftier goals. tiburon is riding in the jdrf ride to cure diabetes 100 mile bike race in sonoma, california this saturday. she is a go-getter and kicks so much ASS! i am so proud of her and her dedication to this higher cause for her son, ethan, who is diabetic. i heart her.

** the BEST DAY EVER when my girl kami ignored the haters and non-believers and allowed me to claim my crown as the righteous winner of her radical giveaway. i heart her, too.

i scored some DOPE swag, including a t shirt of my choice from scatterbrain tees--there was NO question. this was the one i wanted:

an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other??? come ON!! it was never even a question, now, was it? (sadly, i am so predictable.)

**another BEST DAY EVER when i gazed upon this photo of ryan reynolds that may or may not have left me a little breathless. allegedly.

mercy me! that scarlett johanssen is one lucky lady....

we saw the proposal this last weekend and i was totally thrilled with it--i thought it lived up to all the hype and i forgot how good sandra bullock is in a part like that. and 'shirts off' above is one of the funniest male actors out there right now in my humble opinion. you MUST go.

see the other ew photos HERE (but beware: you might want a defibrillator handy.)

** the 'heads up' on the anti-monkey butt powder from blogging bff alex--thought i just might order a bottle so i could say i did.

**this little fishy who learned how to (semi) swim. i heart her, as well.

watermelon taffy

when i was up in park city, i bought a few of these salt water taffys in the watermelon twist box--i thought it was so festive and loved the packaging.

change your life

i would love to do some of the activities in this book will change your life again--they are so clever!

for example: you could celebrate zombie day (below. click to enlarge.)


we had such a lovely time in park city! despite it being a BIT COLD for our southern utah thin-bloodedness, we managed to party like (wanna-be) rockstars.

my most cherished quote came from russ as the girls unloaded from the car one day at lunch, leaving just the two of us sitting inside. "if we leave right now," he said, "we could make it to salt lake city before any of them notice!"

AHHHHHH, family togetherness!! it's our FAVORITE.

the girls favorite part of the day was the turn-down service at night complete with chocolate mint:

of course the hot tub was well used:

and main street was well-strolled:


love these classical symmetry giclee prints

hb kaitlyn!

hb myspace comments

15 years ago this little lady made me a mother--

hb to my kaitlyn! i love you more than EDWARD! (and that's a LOT.)

shallow thoughts: refill mug anxiety

i am not too proud to admit that consuming massive amounts of diet dr pepper is a little white trash. but i've decided that i have a sickness which is incurable AND untreatable--i've accepted and moved on.
what stops me short, though, is the REFILL MUG.

i might be a little biased and i certainly know that there are many high-class, white-collar, $$$ making upstanding citizens who use a mug. but mostly i'd say the mug crowd tends to lean towards the large woman wearing cut-off sweatpants, a really bad perm, and a "G AND R" bumper sticker on her vehicle.

she will generally have a few children in tow, a few left out in the car, a really loud voice, and a penchant for fried foods and gas-station nachos. (oh, wait--that last one is ME.)

she may or may not have night ranger/styx/eminem/pussycat dolls/nickelback playing on the car stereo (oh wait--that last one is ME, too. yikes!) and could possibly have filled the toddler's bottle with coke from the fountain. ( i plead the 5th on that one.)

what is NEVER a variable, though, is the mug. it's almost always a constant. many times it has to be washed out in the nasty little sink next to the burritos and then sniffed for approval.

so when my darling husband brought home a couple of mugs to aid in our soda consumption, i will admit that i said not only no, but HELL NO.

he won , however, by stating that it was cheaper to refill the mugs, he wouldn't make me go in and do it, i could lay down on the car seat while he was filling them so that people wouldn't see me, yada yada yada.

so the other day when i was taking the kids to the pool for the afternoon i faced a moral dilemma: take the refill mugs, face my demons and fill them, thus providing a drink that wouldn't immediately melt in the 100 degree heat OR allow my pride to rule, leave the mugs on the floor of the car where they belong and kick it old school with the paper cups and watered-down ddp within the hour.

i refilled the mugs. and a part of me died that day.

guess who needs therapy? (DON'T answer that question.)

be italian

i saw this preview for the movie NINE the other day in the movie theater and was impressed with how visually stunning it was--i have no idea what the movie is really about, but i'ma gonna see it.

disney princessess gone BAD

it's certainly no secret that my sense of humor tends to lean on the inappropriate or dark side.....so these 'fallen princess' photos by dina goldstein made my whole day.

{via a cup of joe }

18 years~ 18 reasons

{pic courtesy of gina bina}

june 22nd, 1991--18 years is a really long time to be with somebody! so i present '18 reasons why i love russ':

1. when my hands are cold, you cup them in yours and blow hot air into them to get them warm.

2. you like to sing power 80's ballads in the shower. REALLY LOUD.

3. you always want to sit by me. OVER EVERYBODY ELSE.

4. when you get nervous you tap me somewhere really fast. (most famously standing up in sacrament meeting, singing a song, as you tapped my butt the whole time.)

5. you always hold my hand when we walk somewhere and let me walk through a doorway first.

6. i love that you always have chapstick for me. even when i ask for it 30 times in one day.

7. if i'm carrying packages or grocery sacks or ANYTHING heavy, you take them for me.

8. you look smoking hot in a dress shirt and tie.

9. you spoil me--not because you have to, or because i'll be mad if you don't. but because you genuinely like to.

10. you have a killer smile.

11. you are one of the last of the 'nice guys' and people adore you for it.

12. you always smell TOTALLY YUMMY.

13. you are my favorite traveling companion.

14. when you put on your 'hot cop' sunglasses, i confess that i want you to pull me over. perhaps even cite me.

15. you like to sing the wrong lyrics to a song, hoping i will BUST YOU. (i always do.)

16. you make being a father of 4 girls look like a walk in the park.

17. you are a great kisser! and i love that your lips are weally, weally soft.

18. your love is unconditional.

happy anniversh my love! here is to 18 more!!

{photo by tickled pink photo}

hammahhhhhh time

i must confess: i was just a little more than bummed that i wasn't able to participate in this experience. while wearing gold lame hammer pants. cuz i would have TOTALLY kicked that old guy's trash at :52.

next time.....

(colby: i am still waiting....)

things that suck

loved reading some of the suckable items listed in things that suck --and i TOTALLY got cold chills when i read 'the smell of your teeth being drilled at the dentist. HATE that!

hasta la vista

we are off on our vacay! i shall miss you terribly and think of you every moment......as i stay HERE , doing this , & hanging out here.

be back on monday! xoxoxo~

don't stop

i've posted my undying love and affection to ps 22. (here AND here)--but now they have warmed my heart just a smidgen more by jumping on the glee 'journey' bandwagon with their rendetion of an oldie but a goodie:

being a father to 4 girls...

....could possibly be the hardest thing in the world! but you make it look easy~

happy fathers day to our daddy, husband, and best friend--we love you so!!

(the video doesn't show up on google reader--you are gonna have to come on over to my pad. come on, you KNOW you wanna....)

superfantastic blog giveaway

time for another superfantastic blog giveaway!!

i have been doing this for over a year on an almost monthly basis and it's still great fun for me.

some people are anti-giveaway--i've heard comments like, "you only do blog giveaways so you can get more traffic to your blog." to which i answer: DUH.

i like to give things to people. i like people to read my blog. it's not really that complicated--there is no hidden agenda or brainwashing involved. (lovemlovemelovemelovemeloveme) & my only purpose is to take over the universe. fairly simple.

so, that being said, this month i honor my love of letters and initials by giving away this fetching, whimsical frame with whatever inital you would like. (since i've put "t" in there already, it would be helpful if that was the one you wanted. but i WILL accept other letters....i discriminate against NO alphabet member.) you also get a "it's a wonderful life" mini-plaque. if you spit on both letters AND plaques, i have included a 15 dollar i-tunes card.

**it's not rocket science, so all can play! leave a comment here, and if you don't have a blogger account, 1. what is wrong with you?! and, b, just leave your name and info under an "anonymous" comment.

don't wanna pimp you out, but will reward your selling yourself out for selling ME on your blog with two entries. NOT required for my love, though.

this giveaway will end tuesday, june 30th at midnight--

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

note to kristin stewart: the mullet is NOT a good look for you. fire your hairdresser and stylist. STAT.

prank notes

when i saw these prank notes i immediately thought about what fun i could have with them.....

high maintenance

one of my all-time favorite movie quotes is from the movie when harry met sally--

harry burns: "there are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance. you're the worst kind; you're high maintenance but you THINK you're low maintenance."

it's no secret that i am high maintenance. and i've never pretended to be otherwise.

some women pride themselves on being self-sufficient, do-it-themselfers. every set of instructions to put together little timmy's bicycle for christmas or the new backyard swing set is a challenge. something to conquer. me? yeah.....not so much.

i would prefer to be the team player providing the moral support and/or 44 ounce drinks from the convienence store. i can compliment, cheer, encourage, and on rare occasions, provide impatient, sarcastic commentary. which is generally VERY underappreciated.

i've never changed a flat tire, turned on the bbq, or started the lawn mower. i've also never hung a hook, put together a piece of furniture, or changed the oil in my car. WHY would i do that when i have a big, strapping, handsome man to do it FOR ME?

right now i can just hear the outraged cries of feminists the world over., kicking and flailing their unshaven, birkenstock-clad legs. and yes, i can hear all of the "but what if something happens to him and he's not around?"questions.

to which i reply: "that's what a big fat insurance check is for." (or a hit-man if he leaves me for a 23 year-old ex-stripper trophy wife.)

the sad thing is that, to know my husband is to know that getting a multi-million dollar life insurance settlement would be a DOWNGRADE for me. he's a caretaker (something rare and wonderful. don't hate.) and he's really, really good at it.

some of us are meant to take care, and and some of us are meant to be taken care of. i'm gonna take one for the team by doing the latter. and i make NO APOLOGIES for it.

are YOU high maintenance? take this little QUIZ and find out....