i am finally trying to learn how to snow ski. at 39 years old.

...to teach an old dog new tricks.

i went with my posse to brianhead and took advantage of their "learn a new snow sport" special--only $39 for your lift pass, your equipment, & a 2 1/2 hour lesson. SCORE.
i went in with low expectations (translation: didn't even think i'd be able to get up. really.) and was pleasantly surprised that i actually COULD ski. proof? check me out below: (NOTE TO READER: that is actually a triple black diamond run, and the hill is a ginormous, straight-down, 90 degree angle monster. NOT the bunny hill that the camera makes it appear to be.)

jody & i learned everything we'd need to know plus a few extra skill sets from our main man, dave--he was a stone cold fox at 60 years young and was just what we needed.

the picture below kristin snapped right after he told us that we looked so great on the slopes, that it was a good thing we hadn't been going down naked, as nobody would have been getting anything done around there.....

i told him that he wasn't ready for all this jelly.

he begged to differ.

i decided that it was destiny that i had waited nearly 39 years to ski, because the skis are so much shorter now--they are a bit of a different shape as well, and i felt like it made a big difference in maneuvering around while i channeled peekabo street on a REALLY bad day.

it was an absolutely beautiful day on the slopes, and i am pleased to report that i fell down less than a million times. but i did have a few SPECTACULAR crashes that bordered on taking all-state. or maybe even nationals.
i may or may not have also cultivated a bad habit where i said naughty words when i sped up a little. ALLEGEDLY.

it didn't hurt really when i fell, but currently (7:00 p.m. tuesday night) i am in a world of hurt. i guess the old dog's bones are a little more brittle and sensitive to multiple crashes. who knew?

l to r: kristin, mindi, jody, kamari

i'm now just waiting for brianhead to contact me about instructing. i'm pretty sure the phone call is coming ANY moment.....

chandi's maturation program or the birds and the bees

it was the most magical time of the year at chandler's elementary school: MATURATION PROGRAM DAY.

she brought home the note telling me about it and wanted to make sure i could come. i said i would ONLY if i could raise my hand and answer any questions they had OR if i could talk about our experiences with maturing using only examples of her.

poor chanandler bong. this is a suckity time to have a smart arse as a mother.

she just rolled her eyes and said, "MOM! don't embarrass me!"

ahhhh, the maturation talk.....i remember it fondly.

i also remember coming out of the dark lunchroom after viewing the slide show, carrying my bag of "speshhuulnesss" under my coat and trying to avoid all eye contact with anybody of the opposite sex.

but i must say, they did quite a bang-up job of it over in our neck of the woods. the video was current, up-to-date and not chuck full of cringe-worthy "a very SPECIAL after school special" performances.

the doctor who came to speak with us afterwords was straight forward, funny, and candid. as was the teacher who handled it all with style.

the only problem was the fact that chandler had to keep telling me, "mom--be QUIET! SHUT UP!" when i would lean over to give her commentary. i can't figure out why....

so, my question to you is: did you have a 'MATURATION PROGRAM' at your elementary? do tell.....

edward cullen makes me scream like a little girl

katie has this life-size cardboard cutout of edward cullen that resides in her bedroom. (scandalous!)
she bought him with her christmas dinero and felt like it was an investment in her HAPPINESS. i felt like it was a complete and total waste of money, but what do i know since i buy retarded things like toe rings and shiny, glittering objects? i didn't have a leg to stand on, so the purchase was made.
a few days after she and edward shacked up, i walked downstairs in the late afternoon to put some clean clothes on the bed. i turned to leave her bedroom when i saw him standing in front of the closet , and i dropped my drink, the laundry basket, and yelled "AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!" louder than i thought my 38ish-year-old-mommy lungs were capable of.

he scared the living daylights right outta me. BIG time.

my heart was thumping, and my pulse racing and my stomach did flip flops and i had to lean against the bedpost to catch my breath and try to laugh at myself. but never before had i been scared that hard--i was convinced it was a man who had snuck into the basement, and it was a feeling i don't ever want to experience again. (unless he's there to clean the carpets, and then i'm totally cool.)
it made me think about what i would have done if edward had REALLY snuck in, and i needed to bust a move on him. the thing i keep coming back to is :




attention all potential predators who are gonna sneak into my basement after recognizing my house from photos i carelessly posted on my blog: i have ninja skillz, and i'm not afraid to BRING THE PAIN.


katilyn turned me on to limewire and i must say, i've been quite infatuated with it.

when she told me it was a file sharing music .com that was totally free, i doubted her and totally called b.s.--i got on, checked into it, and--SHOCK AND SURPRISE--it indeed was free.

they would like you to 'upgrade' to limewirepro or a higher version of it, naturally, but we skipped right over that and downloaded the basic free application.

the best part about it is that you can drag and drop the songs over into your itunes to put on your pod--i've already downloaded some of the dj earworm songs that i've posted about and it worked like a charm.

and fyi: using limewire isn't illegal, but downloading illegal movies, songs, and programs from limewire is illegal. so, yeah--it's gonna be a bit of a gray area.

obviously, i like things with a lot of gray area. some of you? not so much. (btw: how do you spell grey? or is it gray? wtf?)

so there you go. opinions?

mindi and kami and becky and rachel or blogging bff's lunch at twentyfive main

see this smile on my face?

these three ladies put it there:

becky, rachel, mindi, & kami

lunch at twentyfive main: $8.30

cupcake for after-lunch treatie: small home equity loan

time spent with bloggers whom i adore: PRICELESS.

{make one of these cool hockneyized photos HERE}

with some indie record that's much cooler than mine or the independent magazine's writers are killing me

one of the very first posts i did when i started blahhhhhgging was THIS one about the independent's best of 2007's music.

the independent is a local artsy-fartsy newspaper that i always pick up and usually quite enjoy. that is, until they make their list of best albums that you should have been listening to during the previous year. that's when i start to see red.

i would consider myself to be a fairly music-savvy chick. i have a diverse and sometimes eclectic taste in music, while usually sticking to lots of mainstream stuff. but i have a lame gift that entitles me to remembering lots of details about musical groups, obscure and no. yeah, ask me how far THAT one has carried me in life...

what chaps my hide is when their 'BEST OF 2008' list is compromised almost ENTIRELY of musical acts that i've never, EVER heard of.

exhibit A:

(** indicates me knows)

tim's top 20

1. blitzen trapper--furr

2. the moondoggies--don't be a stranger

3. fleet foxes--fleet foxes

4. calexico--carried to dust

5. the deep dark woods--hang me oh hang me

6. north mississippi all-stars--hernando

7. grand archives--grand archives

8. old 97's--blame it on gravity

9. black keys--attack and release

10. the woodbox gang--drunk as dragons

11. ruby suns--sea lions

12. metallica--death magnetic **

13. liam finn--i'll be lighting

14. sera cahoone--only as the day is long

15. death vessel--nothing is precious enough for us

16. mudcrutch--mudcrutch **

17. alice cooper--along came a spider **

18. giant sand--provisions

19. pert' near sandstone--needle and thread

20. beach house--devotion

3 out of 20 is pretty pathetic odds. what gives?

am i the only one who's never heard of these obscure groups? guess i'm not as cool as i thought.

loni just made me cry with this card are you kidding me right now with this

last year for my birthday my older sister loni gave me the sweetest gift. it was this little booklet titled 'TEN THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY SISTER': (and please do enjoy mia's embellishments while you are at it.)

it's a small little booklet, only measuring 5'' x 5'', and it couldn't have cost more than 2 or 3 dollars. but it was more valuable to me than the most expensive gift in the world.

loni gathered 10 photos and wrote 10 different pages, each of them something that she loved about me. (she had to think real hard.) and i cried the entire time reading it.

the thoughts were short, but heartfelt. and funny:

don't be jealous of that pink dress. not everyone can be fashion forward.
also, don't be jealous of my mall bangs and my wet & wild designer eye shadow.
i've treasured this little booklet and read it many times. it was one of the coolest gifts i'd ever been given.

{love you, sis.}

i would highly recommend this as a great gift from the heart for someone you love--you crafty creatures could make this yourselves.

if you're like me, and want somebody to do all the hard work, then here's where the shameless plug comes in:

**if you live in st. george,you can make your OWN version this saturday:

Beat the winter blues and come to sunny Dixie for a Winter Stamp-Away on Saturday, January 24 at the St. George, Utah Courtyard Marriott.

Join Loni at 10 a.m. for a Stamp-a-Stack card class where you will stamp 16 cards (4 each of 4 different designs) for $20.

In the afternoon, create a "Love Stories" Flip Album for someone special this Valentines day ($16) AND/OR complete a whole 6"x6"scrapbook in less than 2 hours--perfect for preserving the memories of Christmas, vacation, or other memorable events. ($50 includes album and 20 finished pages or $28 for the pages only.)

Choose your theme when you register: Summer, Christmas, Teens, Floral, Baby, Family, etc).BONUS: Stay until 9 p.m. to scrapbook!

Make it an extra special day by registering with a friend.Register for 2 or more events and save $5.

Registration is limited, so call to save your spot (or ask questions) 801-376-8685

i'm going to be there in the afternoon for a while, whining about scrapbooking. come out and see us!

thankful thursday

things i am thankful for this week: (DON'T HATE, anonymous january 21st 2:52 pm confessor!)

that LOST is back. and we get to do a whole lot more of our slug impersonation on the red couch in the basement.

this masterpiece by my baby. pure shades of artistic genius, if you ask me.

i think we are ready to enter her into the art world. AND get her an agent & publicist.

which is a always a nice segway into...
THIS inappropriate-humor postcard that made me giggle. i fear that i'll never grow up....

for these "i love you more than _____" hearts that my girl kami posted about--

seriously, the attention deficit disor... one was custom made for moi.

this poster that i found while at obamacon.me~

and speaking of obama, for these breathtaking photos of the inauguration:

god bless america!

i've been blogging for 365 days

things that 1 year of blogging have taught me:

1. it's a small world. there are lots of people out there to re-connect with.

2. it's nice to get a pat on the back from other bloggers & get your ego stroked a bit.

3. blogging IS narcissistic. you have to be a little that way to put your business out there for others.

6. you can't please everyone.

7. you CAN please lots of other people.

8. nobody has kidnapped my children or broken into my home that they recognized from viewing my blog.

9. i HAVE been recognized by those i don't know from posting glamour shots of myself on my blog. as have my friends.

11. there are always gonna be a few haters out there.

12. there are always gonna be a few that love you out there.

13. it IS possible to get "blogger burnout".

14. blogging has boosted my self esteem at times and torn it down at others.

15. i've made new friends through blogging that have changed my life for the better.

thank you for 365 days of blogging--here's to 365 more!

snow much fun:beautiful & popular tubing for mlk

we celebrated mlk's birthday by spending a fanfreakingtastic afternoon at the brianhead tubing park~

the kids big & little had such a great time!

my favorite part was the fact that kamari got in trouble when her tube went too far up the 'runaway truck' hill (which they tell you about 10 times that you can't do--"DRAG YOUR FEET!") and they put an "X" on her lift ticket for her FIRST INFRACTION.

that is how we roll. totally on the edge. such rebels!

thanks to kristin & colby for putting the day together--we highly recommend!

oh, the humanity or lana buys industrial-sized box of kotex pads and ruins my life

oh, the humanity... Tuesday, July 15, 2008

while laughing my butt off reading THIS post i left a comment about my "perceived humiliations" as a teenager at my mother's doing, and i wanted to document for posterity:

back in the day, there was no "costco" for bulk shopping--we kicked it old school by doing ours at a local warehouse store called "robin hood's storage". it was basically the same premise as costco, just on a much smaller scale.

a family in our neighborhood owned it, and their boy, tom, was dreamy. he was 2 years older than me and i was always so nervous around him, although i have no idea why now looking back as i can see he had NO interest in me whatsoever.

of course, that didn't stop me from dressing up in my cutest esprit t-shirt to accompany my mom there every time i heard she needed to shop in hopes of seeing him stocking the shelves.

this particular summer afternoon i hit the jackpot as i spotted him right when we walked in.

i tried to look all contempo-casual cool strolling up and down the aisles with a very large cart and my dorky little brother, but i thought i was doing a fairly decent job of pulling it off.

my mom knew of my little crush, and so on the next aisle she said, "mindi--i need a few big boxes off of the top shelves that they have to lift down for us--will you go find tom and tell him i need him?"

i was all-a-flutter as i took my oh-so-nonchalant 14-year old self to the front to tell him we needed help. he walked back with me, of course not uttering a word (since boys don't like to talk, i told myself) and my mom said, "hi tom--i need you to get two boxes of the kotex sanitary napkins up there."


sanitary napkins? are you freaking kidding me, mom? KOTEX FOR CRYING OUT LOUD???!!!! now he is gonna know i have a period and everything and oh my gosh i want to DIE.

i looked at her and she pretended not to see the convoluted, strangled look on my face as good old tom durrant, my possible future husband and prom date and father of my 1 girl who i was gonna name 'kimothy' (yeah.) got a ladder so he could pull down two GINORMOUS boxes of sanitary napkins for my mom's food storage.

i ran to the bathroom and then sat out in the van until she came out.

looking back now, i think lana knew EXACTLY WHAT SHE WAS DOING.

i didn't know she had it in her......and so i channel her each time i do something that has katie rolling her eyes and telling me, "mom! you are such a dork!"

russ agreed to wear curve and was attacked

about 2 months ago i was buying some really, really important, smart-people things (translation: us weekly magazine and cheetos puffs) when the clerk leaned forward and i became instantly infatuated.

he was young--i think i have shoes in my closet that have seen more years than this pup--and was fairly decent looking. but when i caught a whiff of his cologne, i was instantly reduced to a giggling 13 year old girl wearing electric blue mascara and mall bangs.

he smelled so absolutely yummy that i HAD to ask him what he was wearing.

"curve" he replied.

curve? CURVE? the same curve cologne i've seen on the shelves of wal mart next to the "perferred stock for men" aftershave & lotion gift set & "shania" by shania twain perfume/glitter duster combo?

this couldn't be. i have MUCH better taste than that.

i didn't give it much more thought until the day after christmas when i was doing my after-christmas retail therapy and saw the curve gift-set sitting amidst the 50% off merchandise.

since it was only gonna be a whopping 10 bucks for the cologne AND the shower gel (SCORE!!) i decided to take a chance on this high-class splurge and figured that we could use it as a white elephant gift next year if needed.

i got home, gave it to russ, and he put it on.

then he walked by me. and that's when i attacked him.

seriously. i couldn't figure it out--why did it smell so good? was there traces of crack cocaine and heroin bottled within? what in the WORLD was my problem? i felt like i was 2 heartbeats away from wearing nascar tank tops whilst chewing skoal long-cut and drinking mountain dew from a 64-ounce refill mug.

then it dawned on me:

curve for men was like what
polo cologne was to 13 year old mindi.....

and what

hollister jake is to kaitlyn & her buddies.....

and what

exclamation! is to chandler's friend abbey's dad. who asked several times what perfume chandi was wearing one night.....because it took him right back to the roller rink and the couples skate.

what's your poison?

smarty pants or neal sent me an iq test and it's HARD.

smarty pants?? japanese IQ test

Posted by Mindi at 8:00 AM Labels: ,

have you done this?? my b-i-l neal sent it to me last year, betting that my mad mathmatical skillz (translation: NONE) would make me give up solving the puzzle. i SUCK at this kind of stuff, but i dug down deep and , after 4 different tries, solved the freakin' thing.

yes, i AM that lame. i know this comes easily for some of you, but not so much for mindi. you must check it out, you won't regret!!!

This is a great one! And yes...there is a solution
The rules are: Click on link then click on blue circle. Apparently this is an IQ test given to job applicants in Japan. Everybody has to cross the river.
The following rules apply:

Only two persons on the raft at a time.

The father cannot stay with any of the daughters without their mother's presence.

The mother cannot stay with any of the sons without their father's presence.

The thief (striped shirt) cannot stay with any family member if the policeman is not there.

Only the father, the mother and the policeman know how to operate the raft.

To start, click on the big blue circle on the right.

To move the people, click on them.

To move the raft, click on the pole on the opposite side of the river.

get going HERE

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

mia is the very cutest little ski-bunny

how cute is this little ski bunny?

for christmas i asked santa to bring ski clothes for the whole family. luckily, jolly old st. nick had a little help from my bestie/blesbian, amy, who delivered with some rockin' SWEET GOODS at bargain prices~

every girl needs pink boots.

"apple bottom jeans and the BOOTS WIF DA FURRRRR"


anway, i guess i should state for the record that i have never been snow skiing in my ENTIRE LIFE. not even a 1/2 a time.

i've always wanted to learn, but once we were married i was always either pregnant, or nursing, or we were too poor--skiing can be a "rich man's sport" and the thought of getting all the gear was mentally exhausting and financially impossible. AND the ideas we came up with to bankroll the program (ponzi scams, cooking meth in our garage and russ selling sperm samples) fell through.

now that we are outfitted, we are gonna brave it and hope that you can really teach this old dog new tricks. (i take that back. i'm not a dog--i'm a COUGAR.)

if truth be told, i envision myself shredding it up on n the first day on peak 7601 with my boy terje-- (plus, he's skiing to foo fighters--WIN/WIN in my book.)

unfortunately, i have a sneaking suspicion that mindi's day 1 of ski instruction will go a little more like this

my question for those of you with snow skillz is: ski or snowboard? lessons or no? tips? tricks? suggestions? HELP!