what i've learned from the confession booth

WARNING: lots of words. if you are here just for the pictures, move on.

so, confession booth was a wild ride this time, aye? the above photo was my face one more than one occasion reading the comments......

this was definitely a risky venture.  like BIG TIME.

so here's what i learned from the experience:

1. judge not least you be judged. people were throwing out some pretty insane stuff. i really tried to post as many as i could and feel like i REALLY pushed the envelope on quite a number, but if people had the guts to put it out there, i tried to oblige. i do think there were some that were made up and thrown in for "shock effect", but who knows? i was waiting for the "hater" comments that inevitably come with something as risky as this, but they were surprisingly not there. perhaps because i was comment moderating and that takes all the fun out of being an anonymous, spiteful person with a boatload of judging to do?? maybe.......

2. anyone who says "i could never" and "i can't understand" and "how do they" obviously hasn't walked a day in some of these people's shoes. i've learned a LOT of things the hard way, and i have realized that anyone who can't comprehend how people could think or do these things are generally the ones who are willing to cast the first stones. some people make mistakes. some people are unhappy . some people think things they shouldn't. some people hate people they shouldn't. this is fact, not speculation. we all know someone or ARE someone who has issues--if you think you are the one who will never find themselves in a predicament of some sort over the course of your life? yeah, it's gonna be you.

3. sometimes it feels good to just say it. do i think that confession booth would be a good idea all the time? no. i think it would give us a forum to be negative and bitch about our lives incessantly. but do i think we need an outlet to do that every once in a while? ABSOLUTELY. i had comments from some who asked that i not post them telling me that it was a relief to FINALLY "type it out loud". many comments made me sad. many comments would make some mad. a few comments made me LAUGH OUT LOUD. i'm thinking we can handle confession booth maybe quarterly. thoughts?

4. everyone loves a scandal! lots of traffic over here during confession booth days. my little number counter was working overtime. i might have to give it a year-end bonus.

5. i suck at comment moderation. there were several times that i deleted quite a few comments that i had checked to "publish" and i hit "reject" instead. so, if your comment didn't show up, you were either too freaky even for me, or a victim of my inadequacy. sorry about that.

6. i had 8-10 comments in moderation that were posted under the blogger's real profile and i KNOW they meant to do it under "anonymous"--so i would cut and paste their comment or re-type it for them under anonymous and then publish. are you wondering now if it's you.....? i'll never tell. i do have to say that i was bummed that it wasn't the juicy ones.

i also tried to post my anonymous confession, posted it under my name, and then hurried and took it off. totally busted. totally admit that. there were also a few comments i edited a thing or two out of to protect some people--i'm not a cold hearted bitch! (mostly.)

7. someone hates skulls and doesn't want me to wear them. oh, and someone looks down on vegetarians, loaned money to bus drivers who later died, wants their dog to run away, pawned jewelry for cowboy boots, found their sex drive late in life, wished they would have been more of a ho, thinks less of adults who read the "twilight series" (blasphemy!), doesn't want anyone's "grand tetons" all up in their space, inherited 1.5 million dollars, throws softballs extra hard in hopes of hitting their wife, saw midgets in roller skates and mining helmets, and confessed if the daughter in law died "it would be a tough 10 minutes."

one of my confessions? let's just say it had something to do with "fuzzy dice".

don't judge.

soooooooo, what i would like from you now is this:

there were a few comments that broke my heart that the person was asking for help or advice--do you have any encouraging words for these people? i would love to post them here for them to read.

none of us are counselors. well, okay, maybe SOME of you are. but i know we've all lived and learned and i thought we could pay it forward.

i won't post any negative advice. please offer up something helpful and compassionate. have you been in a rough situation and can offer up any practical suggestions? my sitemeter and feedjit will remain off until wednesday.


Vanessa said...

I was drained after reading some of them, I can't imagine what you went through moderating all of them! Quarterly. . .thats my vote. Crap, I hope I clicked anonymous, you may just know more about me than I had hoped:)

Kristina P. said...

Very interesting. I can't wait to bring back my Post Secret post. And I will give you credit for inspiring me to do it again!

I don't think I'm going to do comment moderation, but I will just erase any that cross the line. I had a few last time, that were close, but I left them up.

I also think I want ALL comments to be anonymous, so no one gets the emails from people who accidentally post their real name.

Great job!

Tiffany said...

I think you are an amazing moderator for the confession booth, and your summary above is so great. I laughed and gasped and nearly cried with some of those confessions. Amazing stuff.

I wish I had great advice for those who need it. The most I can say is that there should be no shame in getting professional counseling. Everybody deserves to be happy and at peace with themselves and their relationships. Often we can't do it on our own.

Harlene said...

FOr most I think your confession booth was entertainment, for the others, you really needed to "talk", I am so sorry.

If you could, I would let you come over, I would listen, I would not judge, I would cry with you, and I would help you map put a plan to make it better. Mostly I would be there for you.

Life is much harder than we ever anticipated, isn't it? And we can sometimes get ourselves into situations we never dreamed we could. There are so many who care.

I agree with getting a pros opinion, baby steps, and pray.

R-Eight said...

Oh my heck! I just had time to sit and read them all. Wow! Sweet, funny, sad, really sad, bad . . . pretty amazing.

Ida said...

I did put my face there. It's ok it's not something terribly bad so who cares.

But reading some of the others makes me sad for them

Anonymous said...

the biggest thing i learned here is that we ALL have insecurities of some sort (if anyone says "not me" you probably haven't figured out yet that you do). We're all just trying to "find our way" and end up somewhere at peace with ourselves. maybe we can help each other.

as the little song says:

Jesus said love everyone
Treat them kindly too
When you heart is filled with love
Others will love you.

even if you don't have any religious affiliation this message is a good one.

tiburon said...

I wish that I had some great advice too. But I don't!

I thought it was a fun ride - I was sad to see it end :(

Anonymous said...

Love the summary Mindi!! You are so flippin talented and level headed!! I vote quarterly on the booth too! I was one who said monthly, but you have a fantastic point! Isn't is sad that so many of us think nothing like that would never happen to us? Little do we all know! I loved it and I think you posted great confessions. I personally love hearing the not so nice ones. LIfe isn't always rosey and I think it helps us see we aren't so bad after all!

rachel said...

You rock Mindi...I am sure a lot of people needed to get those things off of their chest (I am going to go back and catch up on all the good stuff). I love that you are asking people to be non-judgmental because life is a journey and no one is better than anyone else.

Christie said...

I enjoyed reading them all (so did my husband). So much was laugh-out-loud funny. But what kept getting me, was how sad so many of them made me:

sad at what so many people are enduring

sad at how insecure we all are

sad at how much we all seem to worry about what others think

sad at how close-minded and judgemental so many people are

I don't know that I have any advice per se, but I wish people could worry less about what others are doing, and more about their own actions.

Devri said...

I have been away, so did not participate, but, wow something like 217 comments, Mindi, you must have lived on your computer during that time, hope you had a comfortable computer chair.

no advice, I am not perfect either, but that is the great thing about this world, nobody is.....

Misty said...

I learned a lot from this post. No one is perfect, and neither am I. I was surprised by those that would cheat on husbands, but Mindi is right, I have never walked in their shoes before, so if I may, I am relinquishing my comment.

I do not have advice to give, other than one that usually helps me... Before I act on something, I stop to think about it. I don't always do that when I say things, but I try and at least think it before I do things.

Thanks for the outlet Mindi, this was fun and some great reading material.

Trina said...

I admit to posting a couple of confessions. Just getting it out there was refreshing and helped me to reevaluate things and my outlook.

I liked reading others comments. Some made me sad, some made me jealous, and some made me smile. But I like that they are a good reminder that I am human. I make mistakes. All. The. Time. Which gives me no right to judge someone for their thoughts, opinions and/or actions.

Also, I like the idea of doing it every once in awhile--the confession booth that is.

Whitney R said...

I agree with Tiffany - there is no shame in professional counseling.

It was really interesting to read the confessions. My eyes were opened up to problems I guess I really didn't think were that bad. It broke my heart and I hope that those who are hurting can find peace in some way.

I think quarterly is good.

Tori :) said...

I go to a therapist and I'm open about it. My ex screwed me up- I have issues because of his cheating and now I'm getting help. It's not bad to get help. Therpay has helped my self esteem and helped VALIDATE my feelings. I've learned I'm NOT CRAZY!! YAY!!
So, I'm all for therapy and finding the the help you need.

Tori :) said...

Oh- and thanks for the props chica!

Anonymous said...

I don't believe in certain types of "authority". Therefore, when will the confession booth return?

Tori :) said...

Therpay is a new way to spell THERAPY. Just so ya know...

Anonymous said...

I am a new reader of your blog and the confession was the first post that I had read of your's. I was in total shock by how many women are unhappy. My husband and I have not always had a wonderful marriage like we have today. One thing I learned is that you can not change anyone but yourself. I had to look at myself and what I realized is that I was not happy with who I was. When I started making changes within me, I became a happy person and became much more confident with who I was. In turn that radiated and my husband was drawn to that confidence and we became so much closer. We also realized we weren't communicating. We weren't being honest with one another. Talking is key in a marriage, if we withhold our desires or issues, then we ultimatly withdrawl from each other. I couldn't have made it through our trials without my Father in Heaven. We are so blessed to have the knowledge that we do, use the tools that you have been given and I promise you will be given the strength to make it through anything.

Shannon said...

There were a couple of confessions on there that I totally could have written. I didn't, but I could have. I have learned a few things the hard way as well, and as you said Mindi, those who think " I could never" may be in for a big surprise one day. Everyone has their issues, and if they say they don't, they just don't know what they are yet! No one gets through life without trials.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to write something to the person who admitted that they thought baptisms for the dead were creepy. I just wanted to clarify that it is not baptisms of the dead (meaning we physically baptize dead people, yuck, that would be creepy), it is baptisms for the dead (meaning we stand in on behalf of those who have passed on before us who didn't get the chance). I've just been thinking a lot about it, and wanted to clarify that. I can understand the creepyness, but I want that person to know that it is a wonderful spiritual experience.