death by manilow or mindi's personal punishment playlist

i just read the most interesting article--it seems that violators of the noise ordinance in fort lupton, colorado, are being sentenced to listen to the songs of barry manilow, barney the dnosaur, and other singers they hate as part of their punishment.this new form of "cruel and unusual" was established by fort lupton municipal judge paul sacco, who decided to open up this can of whoop a after noticing that several repeat noise ordinance violators paid their fines with cash and still returned to his courtroom.

judge paul (who RULES, in my opinion) has the repeat offenders come in four times a year, put them in a room and force them to sit there for an hour and listen to the music they hate. nay, LOATE.the genius playlist includes “copacabana”, and "i can't smile without you" by barry manilow. and while i'm on the subject, just WHEN is barry gonna come out of the closet? just wondering.......

anyway, the best part of this is that there has been a massive fall in the number of repeat noise polluters--who woulda thought?

so this got me thinking: which songs would be on MY punishment playlist?

we built this city by starship--i think i've already established my extreme hatred of this little musical gem. it would most definitely be number ONE on the list.

don't worry, be happy by bobby mcferrin--nails on a chalkboard. totally repetitive and lame.

achy breaky heart by billy ray cyrus --you're WELCOME for that pre-hannah montana photo of the cyrus. i think it's the most magnificent example of a kentucky waterfall known to man. and the song represents everything that was wrong with country music in the early 90's.

lollipop by lil' wayne--words cannot express how much this song sucks. AND blows. not to mention the fact that it's nasty. and HE'S nasty. but i likey the ring. i wonder if i could borrow? {'lil': call me!}

every rose has it's thorn by poison--sorry, bret michaels--i've failed you. but it's time to take the weave down from the bandana and accept massive failure on this power ballad.

grandma got run over by a reindeer by elmo and patsy--do i even need to elaborate?

sittin' on the dock of the bay by michael bolton--caterwauling.

mmmmmbop by hanson --just checked--that oldest brother is still unfortunate looking. and this song represents that you can sell a million copies of ANYTHING if you have the right marketing strategy.

born in the usa by bruce springsteen--sounds like he's being strangled the whole song. HOW does he do that to his voice and not lose it? i'm baffled.

sex and candy by marcy playground--it's so depressing. kind of makes me want to cut myself with sharp objects.

soulja boy by (naturally) soulja boy--gets REALLY annoying after you've heard it blasting from your basement 1 bajillion times.

yah mo be there by james ingram and michael mcdonald--possibly the most insipid song ever written.

i could go on and on, but i won't torture you anymore.

what would be on YOUR punishment playlist?


Erin said...

Lil Wayne? Ewww.

My punishment playlist would include I Love Rock and Roll by Britney Spears (because she's trying to be hard core and she's SO NOT) and anything by Tom Petty. I know I will probably get booed by saying this, but I just don't like his voice.

tiburon said...

I am with you on EVERY SINGLE ONE of these.

Let's just be tortured together.

Anything country would also be on my list - I don't even know the names of the songs but if it was sung by Garth Brooks or Kenny Chesney or Rascal Flatts - it is on my list.


I need a shower.

Renee said...

Oh yes, I am right there with you! And add to that, "Black Betty", "Jimmy Crack Corn", "Seether", "Smooth Operator", and any "Spin Doctors" song. Why is it the worse the song, the longer you've got it stuck in your head?!!!

Vennesa said...

I Would Walk 500 Miles by the Proclaimers. Along with Maria by Brooks and Dunn. All I Wanna Do by Sugarland and I Knew I Loved You by Savage Garden. Remember that stupid show "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire"? They played the Savage Garden song to death. gag. My list goes on. I'm easily annoyed.

kami @ said...

I just showed Kyle Don't Worry Be Happy and I think he loves you more. I agree on all those. I want to add to the list Kokimo by the Beach Boys...YUCK!

Suzie said...

I used to torture my kids with it if they didn't do their chores. Dance and everything.

Love your list. I agree on all the ones I know.
three I would add:
Come On Eileen (KILL ME NOW!)
Dontcha by the Pussycatdolls (hookers)
anything by Bjork (weirdo)


Hildie said...

I'm with you on this one. I completely agree with your songs.
Plus the macarena.

Plus most anything that is light rock. Like, um, Barry Manilow!

Hildie said...

Plus "Walkin on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves

and "Hungry like the Wolf" by DD (I love Duran Duran A LOT but I have always despised this song)

Melissa said...

"99 Luftballoons" (the torturous 99 red balloon song) STILL scratch my head when I hear it. Due to that little diddy, I am one song short of the "I still know EVERY word to EVERY song in the 80s" title!

Brooke said...

Good post. I'm braindead right now or I would post some of the songs that I absolutely loathe, too.

Vanessa said...

Whenever we have to watch Hannah Montana, I can't help but flash back to Billy Ray and his lame Achy Breaky days. Plus, he is the worst actor ever.

Cherry Pie-Warrant
That dumb Badonkadonk song-Trace Adkins
The Thong Song-Sisqo
Anything Julio Iglesias sings
Mormon Top 40

The end.

Vanessa said...

Oh, thanks Erin, I forgot:
TOM PETTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate him and my husband tortures me with it!

Tiffany said...

I think you've about covered it. I promise to be a very, very, very good girl.

Cassie said...

I'm sure there are a lot of them if I really set my mind to it. The one, that would probably kill me instantly if I had to listen to it in its entirety, (and I mean ON-THE-SPOT-DEAD) would be "The Cats In The Cradle" by Harry Chapin.

K and/or K said...

Any Celine Dion, any barbershop quartette, and any Barbara Streisand!

Chanda said...

Are you crazy?! You just gave them your list - I bet the FBI's breaking down your down right now.

Grandma Got Ran Over By A Reindeer - that's pretty good. (bad)

rachel said...

I LOVE every rose has its thorn...I can't help it :) I would have to say that I would die a slow and painful death if I had to listen to any form of country music for any length of time. depressing much?

Anonymous said...

I am down with that whole list and
Lil Wayne, just makes my skin crawl.

R-Eight said...

Loved you list! Number one on mine would be anything by Stevie Nicks especially Leather and Lace YUK!

Elena said...

I suddenly feel so very uncool. I love all those old 80's songs from my childhood...We Built This City is upbeat. I also like Sex & Candy (the song AND the stuff, lol). I wouldn't normally like Soulja Boy, but being a graduate of UMiami, they play it at the games a lot since we're called "The U." It just works.

I'm also making some new iPod playlists, so let's do a post on some awesome songs that are a must add.

Nathan said...

Here's one specific to the holidays:

Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney


Amy said...

I love this idea! LOL (and your list)
"Hey there Delilah" (insert finger in mouth)
"Tubthumping" (how could we forget)
"My heart will go on" (heard this one too many times!)
"I'll be there for you" (theme from 'Friends')
...I'm still laughing from "oldest brother is still unfortunate looking"

Ali B Larkin said...

Did you know your little brother listens to Barry on a regular basis? And Neil Diamond. He is only allowed to listen to them in HIS car, though. Am I so mean?

The following would be torture to me:
"Walking in Memphis"
Pretty much ANY rap song
Twisted Sister songs - any and all
Country remixes of Beatles hits - yuck (they just DON'T go together)

gina bina said...

How 'bout anything sung with Alvin and the Chipmunks....

Makes. Me. Shiver. In. Pain.

mCat said...

Oh girl, your hate list and my hate list TOTALLY match! That would explain why I like ya so much!

veronica said...

How about the Vonage TV Commercial. You know the annoying Woo Hoo one?

That song makes me want to poke my eyes out!

Now it's stuck in your head isn't it? Sorry.

Mia said...

I don't love any of these songs. I think music torture would reform me from a lot of things.

Harlene said...

I knew we were MEANT to be! I have tried to explain "We built this city" to my kids, you just had to live through it I guess.

Add to the list Peter Cetera, Rascal Flats, Shania Twain and


tiburon said...

ANYTHING by Dan Fogelberg.

Especially Auld Lang Syne


Oh and Mambo #5

tiburon said...

Oh and "Tonight I Celebrate My Love For You"


My skin is crawling just thinking about it!!!

tiburon said...

And another one -

Eddie Murphy - Party All The Time

Aimee said...

Anything Barry Manilow, Johnny Mathis, Neil Diamond, or John Denver... like nails on a chalkboard!

Vennesa said...

I'm with Harlene. How could I have forgotten the Christmas Shoes song!!!???

VTS said...

That was a painful list to go through. I have absolutely NO IDEA how that soulja boy song got on the radio. It's absolutely terrible. A truely torturous song!

Sharla said...

I am almost totally with you. Except for MmmBop-- because it's a secret no one knows.