SUCK IT! (russ and mindi fight about vacuuming)

after a small squabble the other night, i made a mental note to post about this:

the rbc & i don't fight about many things. but one thing that ALWAYS causes marital discord is THE VACUUM.

without fail, every couple of months i'll notice that the vacuum is just making marks in the floor and not picking up a single thing.

i'll stop, call him immediately and say, "the vacuum is broken. i need you to fix it tonight."

to which he'll always reply, "WHY DID YOU BREAK IT?! I JUST FIXED IT A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO!! WHAT DID YOU VACUUM OVER? DAMMIT!"

so then, that night as he takes it apart, he makes a pile of the hair/threads/debris that he collects from the innards and calls me in to survey the damages.

"LOOK AT THIS." he says. "THIS IS DISGUSTING! CAN YOU SEE ALL THE HAIR AND JUNK THAT YOU'VE VACUUMED UP? NO WONDER IT'S NOT WORKING! YOU NEED TO WATCH WHAT YOU ARE SUCKING UP!"

but then i always say, "oh. you mean the hair/debris/threads that are THE REASON WHY I AM VACUUMING? THOSE hairs/debris-esss/threds-esss? the very reason we bought a freaking eight pound orek xl for in the FIRST PLACE? yeah.....i know them. really well."

i think he would be happier if i took a fine-tooth comb and started through the carpet on hands and knees, raking it out first, flushing out any potential vacuum-pitfalls like excessive food spillage &/OR barbie shoes AS WELL as the threads/debris/hairs. like from the five women in his house. four of which his chromosomes determined the sex.

so i've made up my mind--from this day forward, i vow to have our vacuum resemble THIS: