tool time, ladies.....international male

ahhhh, another international male catalogue graced my mailbox the other day--it's always better than christmas morning when i find it waiting for me......

with father's day coming up, i thought i would share with you some of my favorite selections--russ is gonna be crazy-insane in LOVE with these wardrobe choices:




the westgate suede trench or times square leather trench are simply stunning choices and would make you more popular with friends and loved ones--don't let the fact that summer is nearly upon us deter you--you can always turn the thermostat DOWN........






speaking of thermostats, it's getting hot in herrrrrrrrrre when the tinello faux chinchilla hooded jacket & faux fox fur coat appear--do you want that promotion at work?? show up wearing either one of these show-stoppers, and let your boss know that you have what it takes to go ALL the way...you can also rest easy knowing that only baby chinchillas and foxes who were diagnosed with terminal cancer and/or already dead on the road were used in the making of these essential wardrobe items....






the agadir tunic paired with the mechanic's jeans would be the perfect choice for an evening out at the potter's wheel molding clay with your special lady--call now, and a free flat iron will be included with your purchase! (speaking of clay...clay aiken bought TWO sets. do NOT delay.)




wanna show that special someone that you have a tiger lurking underneath that straightlaced exterior? then the safari 5 pocket pant with the pintuck pullover shirt would demonstrate your ability to roar! vegetarian? then you are showing your support of animal-cruelty free slacks AND shirts with both the words pin and tuck in them.







outrigger jeans+ westpoint military jacket = perfection in our book!! jeans with a zipper that goes nowhere paired with a jacket inspired by michael jackson will assure those other dads at the soccer game that you can still BRING IT. don't mess.




want to move from sunday school secretary up to elder's quorum 1st counselor without having to do all the hard work?? show up to stake conference wearing the madison banded collared shirt paired with the manhattan cuban heel boot and sit back and watch as the bidding war over your
hidden talents warms up....






yes, we KNOW you are complex and have a softer, more feminine side you'd like to embrace without getting your trash kicked. our solution? the collarless gauze shirt or the ultimate poet's shirt. they say "i have needs, too"...








so your sister is getting married, and you want something that will make you stand out from the rest of your 64 first cousins?? the ciccione suit or ritz satin shirt and tie combo would do that trick--heck, it might even put you right in charge of your next family reunion!





and, without any further ado, the shining jewel in our international male crown--the moroccan tunic paired with the side split denim short. this outfit will single handedly win you more friends and influence more people than a lifetime of t-shirts and basketball shorts! seize the day!!!
p.s. yes, if you wear these shorts, your legs WILL look like this. guaranteed.

missed my preview of the other two catalogues?? click HERE & HERE

28 comments:

Tiburon said...

I live for the day that you receive the International Male catalog - and once again, you did not disappoint! :)

You should take this show on the road because it is the funniest dang thing ever

Christi said...

I don't even dare to wear shorts that short. Disgusting!!

Krista said...

is this where all the tobias' and never nudes of the world get their wardrobe?! My husband would love the snake skin boots, he's been looking for the perfect pair.

hoLLy said...

haha!!! so funny. i love that the puffy shirt was in the catalog(remember that seinfeld?)

Christie said...

Seriously. What (straight) man dresses like that?

Patron and Patrona said...

I want the male in the white endowment suit. He would make the most perfect eternal companion. SSSSSIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH. Multiplying and replenishing the earth would not be a problem.

Josh, Lindsie, and Ava said...

Gotta love a good dose of hot "a" to get you going first thing in the morning...and some people drink coffee. Boy are they missin' out.

Misty said...

These are freaking hilarious. My favorite is the one with the daisy dukes. I actually only had scrolled down 1/2 way through the picture and was thinking "what's wrong with this one (other than the pants may be a little snug and high)?" Then I scrolled down a little further (past the pockets) to find daisy dukes. Seriously, this is so wrong in so many ways!

melissamarchant said...

I love International Male posts. It is just baffling to think that people actually spend good money on these gems.

No Cool Story said...

No no no no no.

I am not looking at those shorts.





My eyeballs.

Trina said...

Seriously, what male model would want to have "International Male" pictures in their portfolio? They would haunt you forever!

Angie said...

Amy warned me!!! The Internation Male. I wasn't sure what she was talking about and now I do! Holy, freakin, funny! Where do you come up with this stuff? I wanna be you if I grow up!! It's so sad when I look forward to seeing your blog each morning before anything else. No disappointments here today!

rachel said...

OMG! How do they stay in business? I remember seeing these magazines in the eighties but had no idea they were still around. Aye carumba!

Aimee said...

I think I wet my pants a little reading this one... GREAT post!!

patrick & carly said...

Yeah!

Holly said...

and the funny thing about this is that they keep printing the catalogs... which means that men are really buying this stuff and wearing it! Yikes! I bet the best selling city is San Fran for sure.

Joellen said...

SHUT UP! Those shorts rock my world!

heidi said...

is this the casting call for the rico suave video?

Kami said...

I love that you are a subscriber! those shorts are hot!!

MiaKatia said...

Oh my... I just got over the memories of the last IM catalog! This will haunt me for another three months!

Judi said...

Oh My...I knew I liked this site.

Becky, yep said...

-K- Are you hired to write for them yet?

But really all I have to say is...
RULER PLACEMENT!

Hacking it up said...

Dang.

Isn't that the "puffy shirt" from Seinfield?...

I need to go wash my eyes out with soap now...

Renee said...

What, you don't like these clothes?

Ida said...

I am speechless. I had a boss that ahem dressed from that catalog. But he thought he was a machismo male. Haha

Omgirl said...

That better be a disco-dancing, Oscar Wilde-reading, Streissand ticket-holding friend of Dorothy magazine or I'm Richard Simmons.

Amy said...

I showed my "neighbors" this blog and I think they died laughing at the fashion show descriptions. They said even though they are gay they want the world to know they don't even subscribe to this catalogue. I am so glad that you post this...I look forward to each new international male posting. When I tell someone about blogging I always tell them to go to your blog and look in the past posts for internaitional male. Now even better...3 to choose from AND a handy link to the others. It really is my fav out of all the hilarious posts you do. This just make my day!

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