international male

christmas morning again when i got to my mailbox (or MALEBOX, if you will...) and found my new international male catalogue. (btw: they are really called undergear now, but i can't seem to get on board with that one. it doesn't have the same panache.)

so, for you males of discriminating taste out there, we've selected a few goodies--hope you've got a good bail bondsman on retainer, because it would be a CRIME to pass up these items.... (wow. stretching on that one a little bit. but it feels oh-so right.)






have you always wanted to experience the exciting job opportunities in the male escort industry, but your family therapist/pastor/stake president always prevented you from doing so? well, our victorian shirt and martello leather shoe will make you feel like you are right on the front escorting lines WITOUT losing your church membership! try it! you'll like it!




jealous much of your baby's onesie? we can fix that with our ug striped step-in--so comfy and functional--who says having something that snaps in your crotch can't be fun? certainly NOT us... (and definitely not him.)





our tactic sport cargo short and sleeveless hoodie is what you'll be sure to wear if you want the adult male equivalent of your lunch money taken from you. after that you can be shoved into one of the gym's lockers just for old time's sake while you cry for your mother.






feel bad that you didn't get to wrestle and wear one of those groovy singlets in high school? our sports wrestler in canary yellow will make all your sports fantasies come true--organize a neighborhood grappling party and be the envy of all when you wear this spectacular wardrobe essential. TRUST US. (man boobs not included.)






if you've been wanting to drop a cool fifty bucks on some undies that look strangely female, than the ed hardy love kills slowly trunk should be just what you're looking for. they are "snug fit", so be sure to go up a size. or four.




in order to get ahead in this world, you have to dress for success--nothing says "capable, trustworthy male" like our leather weston pant in butterscotch. pair it with our floral button-down and you'll forget that you are wearing pants that require a 2-step process that involves baby powder and wesson oil. and involves the term "butterscotch".




nothing exudes class like "man-pris" and camouflage--our evolution tank and brandon capri allow you to showcase your fun-loving side as you fill your 64-ounce mug with mountain dew at maverick. also a good choice for shopping for nascar collectibles to fill your "man curio" cabinet back at the trailer park.




the biscayne blazer and antonio zengara rainbow boot are the items to have when you are really ready to "take it up a notch"--could your woman possibly resist a boot with shimmer in it? oh, that's right--SHE CAN'T. be a winner. be a MAN. wear the floral.


if you've missed our other international male postings, then we feel sorry for you--

(check them HERE. and HERE. and HERE. oh, and HERE.

36 comments:

Joseph and Katie Smith said...

Mindi, If you're wondering where I came from . . .
I left a comment in a past post with the cool star Amy made. I just had to say that I am laughing out loud like I do when I watch Scrubs. You are hillarious!
Katie Fowler Smith

Please read the earlier comment so I don't feel like such a dork for jumping in here to leave my word! Bed Time! See Ya! (Let me see how many exlamation points I can use!)

hollylynn said...

oh i laugh, i laugh, i laugh!

for realsies. you cannot make this stuff up!

Kristen said...

Awesome! You made my day--and the smile's been hard to find lately! Thanks!

jennie w. said...

A step-in??? People make that stuff up for real?

I like your descriptions better. Is that really all you could find? I want more.

My dream? To one day sit by your side as you read the brand new catalog,

Tiffany said...

I want to write for that catalog. With you.

You have a gift, Mindi, a GIFT!

Vanessa said...

HONESTLY! Man-pri's??? Ugh.

MiaKatia said...

Your descriptions make the stunning pictures just that much better. You have a gift! Fave line, getting the adult male equivalent of your lunch money stolen. You made my day!!

The Raybould Family said...

So, I think I'd like my husband to wear the leather pants. Yeah.... gotta get him those.

Ginnie said...

you know it's bad when a bro looks better in a pair of capri's than you do. And yes, kill me slowly all you want. ;)

Tanja said...

You're killing me... the "mansie" a.k.a. the onesie, is just TOO much!

tara said...

oh oh oh my word. they've certainly raised the bar over at "gay r us" this go round. wow.

the onsie.

THE FRICKING ONSIE.

no more words.

Kami said...

Love the onesie! I need a "male box", your so lucky. ;)

Tiffany said...

I'm dying over the onesie!!!
What I like most about these guys-
They don't talk
They don't spend money
They have great bodies
They just stand there and look pretty....ridiculous in those clothes!!!

Adam and Kristina said...

I posted the female verson of those shoes, on my blog yesterday. I think that the manpris are the worst, I mean, hottest, of course.

Suzie said...

I'm sickened and delighted at the same time.
What an oxymoron!

rachel said...

Christmas for you, christmas for us too! I love your International Male posts :)

Trina said...

This is why I love you so much. That and your love for Depeche Mode.

Amy said...

If I were limited to only reading one of your posts a month... I would wait until the International Male Catalogue arrives. This is my very very very favorite thing you do on this blog... I love it!

Rochelle said...

I don't think guys that wear this stuff are out to impress *women.* After all, we laugh at it.

Erica said...

I'm just picturing Kb with his mustache & that baby onesie.

I need to go cool off.

Misty said...

Okay, I am still cracking up at the boxers!

Christie said...

I NEED those pirate/skull/heart whatever boxer-briefs. They're the sexiest underwear ever. If only my hubby didn't wear Gs.

Aimee said...

This made my week! I think you need to spotlight an outfit each week... I'm in tears! :)

CJ, the Purple Diva said...

THIS WAS HYSTERICAL! I am dying over here! I really think you should write for their catalog!
I really would LOVE to get my hands on a pair of those 'killer' briefs! My DH would be a KILLER in them! LOL

No Cool Story said...

Uhmm. International male has teh ghey.

Lesley said...

Classic!

Renee said...

Thanks, I'm now a lesbian.

Shanz said...

3 words... OH MY HELL!

simply kris said...

OHhhhhhh the "mansie". snaps in the crotch! I'm very good at snaps.

Tiburon said...

Mindi you just made my whole week. If I had seen this post two days ago it could have turned everything around. You are brillz.

Physcokity said...

Your woman will find your clothes so irresistable she'll wonder when you had the time to steal them from her or from the back of her closet and the DI pile...

Physcokity said...

quite possibly it was the same time you were trying on her shoes back there....

Ida said...

ooooh sexy yeha right. You crack me up every time you do this.

Omgirl said...

Did Maria Von Trapp make that floral button down or what?

also, I think I might have drooled just a little bit when that guy's butt came into view with the love kills softly trunks. Ok, a lot. I"m so white trash, huh?

Alice Wills Gold said...

So, the men have to be gay to be an international model, huh?

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

Paging Dr. Gay.....come in Dr. Gay....your new wardrobe has just arrives at the front office.