geek gets girl!

okay, i have three reasons why you should watch mariah carey's new video, 'touch my body':

1. kenneth.
2. the.
3. intern.

pleasepleasePLEASE tell me you are watching 30 rock. if you are a negative on that, let me tell you that you could start right now and pick right up--no complicated story lines or genealogy to trace, just funny alec baldwin and tina fey and that genius tracy jordan and my fav, kenneth. he plays country bumpkin,corn- fed christian youth like no other. you can get onto nbc.com and watch previous episodes and i promise you will laugh until your side aches. good stuff, this....

i would like the record to show that i am not a huge mariah carey fan, though the girl can sing. i have just been so OVER how much she has been in love with herself over the years, and the fact that she has to always take the sex factor to the next level. however,i do have to give the girl mad props for this video, though--watching her frolic with kenneth just upped her coolness points, majorly. and shockingly, for a mariah video, lots more funny than trying to be uber-hot.

to see kenneth crawl up the stairs with a bouquet of flowers in his mouth and wear a "juno-esque" running track outfit while cavorting with ms. carey and being fed marshmellows next to the refrigerator, click HERE

shallow thoughts: i want a skinny mirror

monday night we went to our town square for mia's birthday party. they have a large splash pad and red rock river, tables with shade, waterfalls--it's pretty cool, and the kids are ALL over it. the thing i was all over? the mirror in the women's bathroom.

you KNOW what kind of mirror i'm talking about here, ladies--a skinny mirror. that mirror that we prize above all others was hanging there on the wall next to a line of bathroom stalls, and i was desperate to rip it off the cinder block and run away with it. i loved it so much that i was considering a brief engagement and then a hurried, shotgun wedding, because i didn't think i could live without it. i would dare say women the world over would pay mad duckets (see slang term of the day) to have this lovely in their possession.

this mirror literally took 20 pounds off right off the bat, then enlongated you to "lean drink of water" status. i turned one way and then the other, then turned around and looked at my backside. then back around to front, turned to the side, then to the other side.... i couldn't get enough. it reminded me of the mirror my mom had at the end of the hall in our morningside home. i spent many, many, MANY minutes taking in my express button-down, fold-over high-waisted glory......or whining about the lack thereof.

vain, much? you ask. well, show me a woman who doesn't want to look thinner, and i'll show you a BIG FAT LIAR.

one day i would like to just not care about what kind of mirror i have. but i'm not holding my breath.....

funnyfunnyfunny randomness

i saw these on this blog and just had to post them. they made me giggle....














thanks, more cowbell!!!! keep it coming!


yeah, it's a tad bit painful....

jori wrote in a post about how she had been camera shy for a few years--we all do it, i think. a few pounds creep up on us with every pregnancy (or approx. 60, as i always liked to take it to the next level..) and, in my case now, a lot more wrinkles and lines and (gasp) age spots seem to be making their appearance. anyway, jori said that she realized that, if her time was up tomorrow, her daughter would have precious few photos of her to remember her mother by. so jori suggested that you get a really U-G-L-Y, like you -'aint- got- no -alibi photo of yourself and put it right out there for the world to see. she said it was really quite therapeutic.

with 4 girls in the house, we have lotsandlotsandlots of barrettes and hair accessories and bows, or "pretties" as we refer to them as. they are often discarded here and there and under this pillow and thrown on this counter, and as i go through and pick up, when i find a pretty, i clip or fasten it on my head to take back into my bathroom where all good pretties live. there have been times when i've taken them out that i've counted up to 14 different fantastic hair accessories adorning my do. this night i counted 8. now, i realize that these photos are not on a full-out horrific, crying-into-my-hands level, but when i first saw them i was like , "awwwwwhhhhh, HELL no!" (disclaimer: swearing only allowed on this blog in reference to scrapbooking or really ugly photos.) all wrinkles and crinkles and smudged make-up (if there was any at all by 10:30 pm) were on display and i just couldn't do it. but then, i decided to take a deep breath and jump: i give you "nivey pretties photo collection 2008"














fact: i actually can take much uglier photos than these, but as these were heinous enough to complete the humiliation, the world will have to wait. Posted by Picasa
p.s. ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME???? i just posted these and clicked on them, and they enlarged bigger than any photo in the history of blogging....honestly. i want to kill picassa. twice.

mother's day hint...

i saw this bike in the target ad yesterday and fell totally and completely in LUV. best part? it's only $119.00 (down 8% from $129.99--random. who marks things down 8%??? i guess target.) and i think i would look fabulous riding it. so, i'm just putting it out there...russ? and neal--you know megan wants a bike, and this should suit your ummmmm, frugal side as well. check out this bad boy here

btw: note to russ--i am not kidding. i want this bike, legit. i'm hoping the pressure of millions of bloggers (who am i kidding? okay, the 13 that read ) who see this will be enough to make you crack .......

what really got me excited, though, was the other day when jody and i were at the splash pad and we saw these two girls riding along the bike path on this triton 3 wheeler--it looked so fun that we stopped them and quizzed them up about them. target also has them online for about
$204.00. i would love to get about 3 of them so that my girls could ride them with friends--check them out here

2 minutes of your life you will never get back.....

alright, i'll keep this short and sweet as most people don't really have their worlds revolve around all things mindi (although what the h is wrong with them because if they knew what was good for them they would.)-- five things about me that some of you would not know:


1. my real name is MELINDA. mindi is a nickname which actually was spelled 'mindy' until i was in the 10th grade and decided that spelling it with an i was fo sho gonna up my popularity factor. ummmm, it didn't.



2. me and motorized vehicles have had some bad luck over the years--i hit a mentally retarded lady on a bike 3 months after i got my license and she spent 2 days in the hospital with a broken arm and 2 broken ribs. yes, really. in my defense, they cited her because she rode out in between traffic and had escaped from the living facility and yeah, that still doesn't make it sound any better, does it? i also parked my car on top of my friend's steep a## driveway and had it roll down into the neighbor's house. speaking of rolling, probably my best/worst one was 2 years ago when i was pulling up my (fairly) steep driveway, opened my door to lean out to grab the newspaper, FELL OUT of the van, watched it starting to roll backwards, tried to jump back into it as it gained momentum and spiralled out of control, ramming into a massive boulder in my neighbor's yard, missing their 3 car garage. yikes. who does this kind of crap??? and lives to tell?
to see a 90 second example of my sweet driving skillz, click HERE


3. i la-la-LOVE gas station nachos. all of them. and that ooey gooey nacho-cheese goodness that sprouts forth from the pump? pure heaven! TOTALLY white trash, but i can't help myself. i'm like a deer in the headlights anytime i see a minute market or stop-n-shop. i hope you can still love me after reading this. does it matter that only gangstas and people occupying trailers eat nachos? i think not........ don't hate on (see slang term of the day) mindi for slumming!


4. in 1985 i went 4 months with only one contact in my right eye. i am blind as a bat, but my new-wave hairstyle required that my bangs fell way down over my left eye, so i figured since i wasn't really using it all that much, i might as well not mess with the hassle of putting that contact in. seriously. i still catch myself closing my left eye sometimes when i am putting make-up on or reading something. what a retarded thing to put myself through, but, hey--when you are 15 years old there are alot of things that make sense that shouldn't. ever. never-ever.


5. in restaurants, i order the same 6 things over and over and OVER:

*CHEESEBURGER

*NACHOS OR CHIPS AND SALSA (if i could only eat one thing for the rest of my life? this!!)

*QUESADILLAS OR FAJITAS (chicken or steak, doesn't matter)

*LASAGNA

*ROAD KILL FROM TEXAS ROADHOUSE (best deal at that place in my opinionated opinion.)

*STEAK (usually when i'm sharing with rbc)

attention, single ladies.......

single girls, better get your "a-game" out.......this is bob, and i think you'll all agree that he has what it takes to please the ladies: charm, wit, looks, sweet 'stache, plus he's rockin' the duffle bag and golf windbreaker --what's not to love???

best get on THIS one quickly, before he's taken!

smarty pants?? japanese IQ test

have you done this?? my b-i-l neal sent it to me last year, betting that my mad mathmatical skillz (translation: NONE) would make me give up solving the puzzle. i SUCK at this kind of stuff, but i dug down deep and , after 4 different tries, solved the freakin' thing.

yes, i AM that lame. i know this comes easily for some of you, but not so much for mindi. you must check it out, you won't regret!!!

This is a great one! And yes...there is a solution.

The rules are: Click on link then click on blue circle. Apparently this is an IQ test given to job applicants in Japan. Everybody has to cross the river.

The following rules apply:


Only two persons on the raft at a time.

The father cannot stay with any of the daughters without their mother's presence.

The mother cannot stay with any of the sons without their father's presence.

The thief (striped shirt) cannot stay with any family member if the policeman is not there.

Only the father, the mother and the policeman know how to operate the raft.

To start, click on the big blue circle on the right.

To move the people, click on them.

To move the raft, click on the pole on the opposite side of the river.

get going HERE

HB MIA!!


showing "three"--most of the time the last couple of days she's said she's turning two..... she also has a hard time getting the right chubby little fingers to stay down.



i can hardly believe that my baby is three years old today. honestly, i just started having kids like 2 seconds ago--now i'm sooooooo barren (translation: tubes tied in a big ole knot) and i can't believe that my little one is hardly little.

mia was such a good baby--so easy and easily pacified. she has had the attention and adoration of her 3 older sisters for her entire lifespan, and continues to be the queen of the castle, managing somehow to always get her sisters to give her whatever she wants, all the while making it seem like it was their idea. smart little cookie, that one.

she LOVES to sing and knows the words to many different songs, and likes it best when the music is turned up way past eleven (see other post today) and her latest love is to dance around, twirling in a circle with arms held out, in her version of "whirling fish disease".

mia loves anything pink or shiny or a purse or container that she can load alot of crap into and transfer from one point in the house to another. she loves to have aunt megan polish her toenails and fingernails, but is most famous for giving midnight manicures or improving upon our family portraits with a sharpie. she has been such a funny, joyful little person and has brought much laughter and many smiles to our house.

one thing mia does that is hilarious is to pose--it doesn't matter how many photos we take, she is always gonna tuck one foot in, stick her hip out with her hand on it and "work it"!!

we use the word "numa-numa-numa" round these here parts to describe anything really yummy--it comes front the time aunt megan was over at our house making cinnamon rolls and mia was all nervous about getting her fair share. megan put them in the oven and then told her as soon as they were done cooking, she could have one. mia stood right there, hands pressed up against the glass, nose nearly touching, as she watched those rolls bake and kept repeating, "numanumanumanumsssss...." the entire time.

everytime we go to load up in the car, you will hear mia yell "SHOTGUN!!! SHOTGUN!!" she has no idea what it means, but she's heard her sisters say it for so very long that she knows it's important to say it loudest, and firstest. she also loves to have "spider juice", which is actually bug juice as we've pointed out to her many a time, but she refuses to say anything but spider juice. being the retard that i am, i didn't get it until i was purchasing one for her in maverick about a week ago and the clerk was trying to be funny and asking if i wasn't just a little old to be buying bug juice.(i most certainly am NOT, thank you very little. frickin' punk.) i said that my baby called it "spider juice" and he picks it up and looks at it and says , "oh, i see, because it has a spider on the front."

i really hate it when the convenience store worker is more perceptive than me. typical.

oh, mia--we love you so very much!! you are our little lady and we are so glad you are part of our family---you make us complete.

BEST. GAME. EVER.

i'm sure you've heard of 'Improv Everywhere: we case scenes'--they are a group that coordinates and choreographs large, spontaneous events that take people off guard--you might have seen 'frozen grand central' or 'food court musical'

since most of you are right in the middle of little league season, i thought you would love their "best game ever". the improv organization showed up at a little league game in california and made it into a "major league" event, much to the surprise and delight of the players. the commissioner of the little league was the only person in on it--the coaches, parents, and family were all kept in the dark to get the full effect of the element of surprise. it's like 'candid camera', but with class and great editing.

my favorite quote? when one of the 10year old players says, "this has been really good with all of the mascots and jumbo-tron....i wanna play major league baseball when i grow up, so i gotta get used to that stuff." sports-diva behavior already?? AWESOME!! thanks, loni, (the other sister) for the link! i dedicate this to my poor russ, who will never get a chance to do the little league gig---sorry honey! (but must i remind you, it was YOU that threw those chromosomes??? well, you did.)

to buy you some peanuts and cracker jacks, click here

conversations from the car seat

i go to my ghetto rec center most mornings for their excercise classes. on the way home in all my salty, sweaty, 'endolphins'- (ho!) kicking -in glory, i like to roll the windows down. it's just mia and i, and, as she IS my daughter, we generally like to have the tunes blasting while we rock out to music.



the other day i had window down, tunes up, and i hear this from the back seat:


mia: "MOM! MOM!!!!!

me: (turning down music) "what, baby?"


mia: "mines window rolled down."


me: "oh, you want me to roll yours down, too?"


mia: "yes." (love that she usually always says yes--not ya, or yep, or uh-huh. she is very proper. just like her mother.)



10 seconds go by while i roll her window down and check out the mother of all bruises on my arm, then----


mia: "mom. MOM!"


me: "yes...."


mia: "a-turn a music back UP."



oh. my. goodness.


could this proud mama's joy be any more full?? she's her mother's daughter fo shizzle. (see slang term of the day)

zwani.com myspace graphic comments

FEED. ME.




"me so hungy. i HUNGY.HUNGY.HUNGY!!!" (mia quote in honor of her big bday today)
oh, one of my favorite topics , EVAH, today: food. when my B-I-L joined our family and sat down with us one night to plan out a big family trip he mentioned that fact that we just basically planned our trips around where we were gonna eat. we looked at him and said, "DUH!"

yes, food makes my world go 'round, and i am so easily pleased when it comes to restaurants (for the most part.) i was gonna go with this one for fav because i heart it so and it serves this:
but if i have to only choose one, then i am gonna go with texas roadhouse for two simple reasons, the rolls pictured below which i love with honey butter, and......

the roadkill!!! i have always subscribed to the theory that the roadkill is the best value on the menu--for $7.99 you get a salad, loaded mashed potatoes, and a whole mess of ground beef with swiss cheese and mushrooms and onions on top----numanumanummmmmmmssss!!
i can hear you saying, "REALLY?? GROUND BEEF?" being a carnivore, i discriminate against no forms of meat, and they fix it just how i like it here. plus it adds just the right element of white-trashness for me to be satisfied.
the end.

it's not what you know, but WHO you know.....and who THEY know....


and the blesbian blove affair just continues...........i love tiburon so much right now that i might just have to make out with her. she knows of my love for president mchale, and she sent me these high school photos of our boy joel--how great are these???!!!?? all but the first one enlarge, thank goodness---my favorite is is senior year photo (pink strip) with the stylin' hair-boy 'do. nice.






from small town boy to "the soup"--it's good to know that joel mchale was once as geeky as us! megan and jody are gonna die when they check these--i have a feeling i know what their new screen saver is gonna be.....

joel mchale for president of the universe

can i tell you how much i dig the soup's joel mchale?? and the fact that tiburon went to high school with him only makes me like him more.... (even if he WAS a drama nerd. shhhh, don't tell)
the soup is mos def (see slang term of the day) one of my favorite shows on television right now, and joel gave a shout out to the creator of my blog's title--28 seconds of funny here
mother's day is right around the corner......if russ loved me, he would purchase me the limited edition 103rd episode celebration's punching bag--available here for only $24.95!!

most random "treat" item found in a convenience store. PERIOD.

when we were getting ready to hit the road in scottsdale, we stopped into a little am/pm market to gas up and get a drink and a treat. i found this over by the bags of licorice, gummi bears, and little butterscotch hard candies. i was so very repelled/grossed out/sickened by the "chucharitas" that OF COURSE i had to purchase them. there are 6 spoons, wrapped in saran wrap each with a rubber band around them. ingredients, you ask? sugar, citric acid, salt, chili powder, and corn syrup, naturally!!! with my pseudo-latino heritage, i should be all over these babies like white on rice. unfortunately, i don't like to consume food that tastes like asphalt.

what's so gut-churning about them is that the stuff is all gooey, like a scoop-full of cookie dough. with about a quart of crisco thrown in. numa-numa-numa!!!!!

they will be the big prizey for my may giveaway--be on your toes to win this one....

p.s. frick!! i just published this, clicked on the photo, and it enlarged. BIG TIME. niiiiiiiice. picasaa can't magnify the darling pictures of my baby's piggies, but, goo on a spoon? it's ON it!
LAME.

position open: director of marketing and sales, toys 'r' us

seriously, what the???? now, you KNOW that i love a little irreverent humor as much as (okay, MUCH more than) the next person, but i saw this and it made me want to throw up in my mouth a little bit......joking about tramp stamps for mothers and creating them on image chef is one thing. even putting one on for halloween as a joke is totally acceptable--criminy, i got one right down on venice beach when down with my girlfriends (HENNA, people, henna.) since i thought the rbc would think it oh-so-naughty for the approx. 72 hours i had it. but this is going too far, even for me!! i give you, "my tinytatt"--tramp stamps for your little ones....


notice how it's packaged nicely, right in between hannah montana and minnie mouse??? simply STELLAR marketing strategy......

i give a big THUMBS DOWN for toys r us----someone needs to tell that goofy giraffe to pull his head out!! booooooo!!!!